He's an Olympian Alumnus

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He's an Olympian Alumnus
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Zeus must be so proud; his lil' boy just graduated with an MS in PUNCHING DEMONS IN THE FACE. - Matty Malaprop

Sounds Like They Eunuched Something During the Surgery

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Sounds Like They Eunuched Something During the Surgery
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One of them doesn't have to worry about unwanted pregnancy, whereas the other just gets the shaft in that department. - Matty Malaprop

Know the Difference

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Know the Difference
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One of them murders innocent children and keeps your hands cozy and warm. The other is actually called a birdie and is loved by many many high school athletes in Hong Kong. The line's a little blurry, really. - Matty Malaprop

Damn You, Troll Dad!

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Damn You, Troll Dad!
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Troll Dad would know. He's made a TON of Ens zyme in his life. - Matty Malaprop

And Sometimes its Radiance Stings

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And Sometimes its Radiance Stings
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Hive half a mind to contest this statement, but I can't deny the love I feel whenever I look into my honey's eyes. - Matty Malaprop

Source: Pictures and Bad Puns