The detail on the shield is a nice touch, not gonna lie. - Matty Malaprop

One of them doesn't have to worry about unwanted pregnancy, whereas the other just gets the shaft in that department. - Matty Malaprop

I'm sorry... you seem to be implying there's a difference between the two? Have you NOT seen the Tim Burton Batman film? - Matty Malaprop

THAT ONE LETTER. THAT ONE DAMNED LETTER ALWAYS RUINS EVERYTHING. - Pedobear Portmanteau

A Bob Marley impersonator with good taste in typeface will probably appreciate this pun. Now all I need to do is find myself a Bob Marley impersonator with good taste in typeface... - Matty Malaprop

One of them murders innocent children and keeps your hands cozy and warm. The other is actually called a birdie and is loved by many many high school athletes in Hong Kong. The line's a little blurry, really. - Matty Malaprop