OKAY YEAH SO MY POST TITLE IS REALLY BAD BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE DATE JOKES THAT AREN'T JUST THE PITS OKAY????? - Matty Malaprop

Wait, it's that easy? THEN HOW HAVE I BEEN SINGLE FOR SO LONG????? - Matty Malaprop

High expectations are one thing, but date-specific expectations? Come on now, that's just unrealistic! - Matty Malaprop

And every night of the week if I want, as long as I swing by my local co-op first! #CREYINGANDREGLOBBING5EVA - Matty Malaprop

Yo Dawg, I heard you like blind dates so I set you up on a blind date with a blind date so you can date a date while you blind date! - Matty Malaprop