Blind Date

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Yo Dawg, I heard you like blind dates so I set you up on a blind date with a blind date so you can date a date while you blind date! - Matty Malaprop

How to Get a Hot Date

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Wait, it's that easy? THEN HOW HAVE I BEEN SINGLE FOR SO LONG????? - Matty Malaprop

I've Got a Hot Date Tonight

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And every night of the week if I want, as long as I swing by my local co-op first! #CREYINGANDREGLOBBING5EVA - Matty Malaprop

You Can Say That Again

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He's also insincere, but that's another story entirely. - Matty Malaprop

I Want to, But I Feel This Terrible Pit in My Stomach...

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OKAY YEAH SO MY POST TITLE IS REALLY BAD BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE DATE JOKES THAT AREN'T JUST THE PITS OKAY????? - Matty Malaprop

The Perfect Date

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High expectations are one thing, but date-specific expectations? Come on now, that's just unrealistic! - Matty Malaprop

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