It Fits With My 'Dancing is Masochistic' Theory

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It Fits With My 'Dancing is Masochistic' Theory
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If only your girlfriend had understood what you meant when you said you were gonna "kill it on the dance floor..." - Matty Malaprop

And it Was Packed Front to Bach!

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And it Was Packed Front to Bach!
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At first I didn't want to dance, so I was Haydn at the bar, but then I saw a girl I liked and figured it was time to Rachmaninoff. - Matty Malaprop

This Cup Can't Even Handle Me Right Now

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This Cup Can't Even Handle Me Right Now
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The tumbler, on the other hand, would have no problems keeping the present you contained. - Matty Malaprop

Designated Driver

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Designated Driver
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The boys always say that an ol' ironsides like myself should be able to wedge in two or three beers before getting behind the wheel, but I know that kind of peer pressure is always a total (sand)trap. - Matty Malaprop

Then She Grilled Me About the Meeting

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Then She Grilled Me About the Meeting
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I played along though, in hopes she would leek information that I could relay to the campus carnivores. - Matty Malaprop

I'm Like Royalty on the Dance Floor!

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I'm Like Royalty on the Dance Floor!
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Honey, listen, your moves really aren't as smooth as you think. Sooner or later you're going to have to learn to call a spade a spade and accept that. - Matty Malaprop