At first I didn't want to dance, so I was Haydn at the bar, but then I saw a girl I liked and figured it was time to Rachmaninoff. - Matty Malaprop

The tumbler, on the other hand, would have no problems keeping the present you contained. - Matty Malaprop

I played along though, in hopes she would leek information that I could relay to the campus carnivores. - Matty Malaprop

If only your girlfriend had understood what you meant when you said you were gonna "kill it on the dance floor..." - Matty Malaprop

Honey, listen, your moves really aren't as smooth as you think. Sooner or later you're going to have to learn to call a spade a spade and accept that. - Matty Malaprop

The boys always say that an ol' ironsides like myself should be able to wedge in two or three beers before getting behind the wheel, but I know that kind of peer pressure is always a total (sand)trap. - Matty Malaprop