Now clemenTIME will always be on your side! - Matty Malaprop

... and then the tiger eats the pie and the protagonist jumps ship and swims for shore as fast as he pecan! #FakeSpoilers - Matty Malaprop

I mean, sure, it starts off reading like the liner notes of a Black Eyed Peas album, but it gets very poignant and Joycean about 100 pages in! - Matty Malaprop

If you're the kind of person who gets squeamish over literary violence, you'd best keep scrolling. - Matty Malaprop

But is the tastier shroom the morel or the shiitake? DISCUSS. - Matty Malaprop

You can have your Kobes and your Jordans. Kareem Abdul Babar will always have my deepest and most profound respects. - Matty Malaprop

AYO MANDY DIS FLOCKA. WE BE BLOODIN' CRIPPIN' ALL UP IN THIS TEEN ROMANCE STEEZ AIGHT? - Matty Malaprop