before

always,before,dinner,hands,hens,literalism,rule,similar sounding,wash
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Otherwise you run the risk of contaminating your meal with that disgusting eggzema you just can't seem to get rid of. - Matty Malaprop

after,before,CD player,dont,homophone,now,see,vanished
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What? It did what it said on the label and walked away, man. You really only have yourself to blame. - Matty Malaprop

after,before,literalism,muffin,nothing,related,similar sounding
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Clearly this joke is just shamelessly pandering to all the "30 Rock" fans out there. - Matty Malaprop

after,before,cat,dogs,homophone,Kat Dennings,name,opposites,shoop
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At least she'll be floofy and man's best friend even if her career starts to go down a ruff path! - Matty Malaprop

before,lan,literalism,Movie,similar sounding,The Land Before Time,time
By nopunin10did (Via: No Pun in 10 Did)
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Only tangentially related: DO NOT look up how the voice actor for Ducky died. It will give you nightmares. - Matty Malaprop

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