I'll settle for this, I guess. State-dependent memory dictates that I can only function while drunk, so at least taking a few sips of this will help the lightbulb come back on... - Matty Malaprop

Or maybe they just mixed it all with Red Bull in order to give it wings? - Matty Malaprop

is flat

Every beard-induced hangover I've ever had has been nothing short of a hair-raising experience. - Matty Malaprop

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