I'll settle for this, I guess. State-dependent memory dictates that I can only function while drunk, so at least taking a few sips of this will help the lightbulb come back on... - Matty Malaprop

Or maybe they just mixed it all with Red Bull in order to give it wings? - Matty Malaprop

Put this one down on the list of "things I'm glad are really actually truly really real." - Matty Malaprop

is flat