Tip Your Waitress, Etc.

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bar,x walks into a bar,rejection,literalism,bartender,sorry,food,serve,hamburger
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He then proceeded to ask for some mixed nuts for his walk back to his apartment, but the bartender just shook his head. "Sorry sir, we can't do that either. They're on the house." - Matty Malaprop

Hold the Scotch, She's Watching Her Weight

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alcohol,Bad Joke Eel,bar,butter,butterscotch,double meaning,Hall of Fame,paula deen,scotch
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And besides, it's never a bad idea to moderate your drinking when you're a diabetic. - Matty Malaprop

... And Then What?

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bar,cliché,guy,Hall of Fame,hurdles,into,joke,literalism,Memes,puns,running,track,walks
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I'll tell you the rest of the joke in a minute, I promise, but I need to get over the hurdle that is the lead in first. - Matty Malaprop

The Prices Are a Little Steep, Though...

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bar,barcode,code,double meaning,literalism
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Judging from a quick scan of the audience, I'm fairly certain every event they host is a black tie affair. - Matty Malaprop