Jason Schwartzman, why are you the greatest human being? - Matty Malaprop

He was your perfectly average teenager until he croissanted paths with the wrong kind of kids... - Matty Malaprop

There are no words. I'm dead now. From laughing too hard. - Matty Malaprop

P.S. SERVICE CHIHUAHUAS AREN'T A REAL THING COME ON NOW REESE. - Matty Malaprop

Also, full of pizzazz. That's another thing you can call an alligator in a vest. - Matty Malaprop

Stick with this two, punmasters. I know it's a little long, but I promise it will have you laughing the whole six minutes through. - Matty Malaprop

Do you think this magical drink was brewed up by a Hot Sauce Committee? - Matty Malaprop

... but I don't really get the punch line... maybe it's just too labyrinthian for my small brain to understand! - Matty Malaprop