alcohol

Keeping spirits high
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Funny, I see two bottles of vodka, and my crippling fear of ladders just magically vanishes! - Matty Malaprop

Via: Reddit
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Do you think if I shatter a Maroon 5 CD like a Jäger bottle, I'll wake up hungover and realize the existence of that song was just a bad, drunk dream? Fingers and liver crossed... - Matty Malaprop

Gonna get Wrecked
By Unknown
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IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HIS NAME IS BENDER SEE LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL #KillMeNowPlease - Matty Malaprop