I know life feels so hard right now, but I promise it'll get better! You'll persevere and then everyone will know will be green with envy over your accomplishments! - Matty Malaprop

Isn't it always just the worst that such moments of clarity and realization always occur AFTER the fact? - Matty Malaprop

Can we please just go back to mono-fart jokes as the de fact form of lowbrow entertainment? Please??? - Matty Malaprop

Don't let the haters bring you down, hedge-bro. Just walk on by and tell 'em they gotta go fast if they want to jack your swag, or something. #WHATAMIEVENSAYING - Matty Malaprop

The secret to successful relationships is always holding yourself with the utmost confidence. - Matty Malaprop

Form is everything when it comes to lifting your lady. - Matty Malaprop

Punmaster Static_Bunny says: "Pepper is looking to at leash get a girl on his side."

Is it weird that the fourth panel immediately reminded me precisely of Bane from The Dark Knight Rises and nothing else? Because it did. - Matty Malaprop