Good Thing He's Not in an X-Men Movie...

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Good Thing He's Not in an X-Men Movie...
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I mean, if he was, it'd have to be X-rated based solely on the Nick Furry/Sabertooth scene alone, right? - Matty Malaprop

Turban Outfitters

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Turban Outfitters
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Thank you, Simpsons, for all your many years of apt and appropriate cultural impropriety. - Matty Malaprop

John Handcock

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John Handcock
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With hands as plucky as his, it's a wonder he was ever able to scribble a signature at all! - Matty Malaprop

Elepants

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Elepants
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They make him look elephancy, if you ask me! - Matty Malaprop

The Most Honorable Military Accolade

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The Most Honorable Military Accolade
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I still maintain (as I have since the age of 11) that The Red Badger of Courage would have been an infinitely better book than its actually-existing counterpart. - Matty Malaprop

Iron-Strength Coffee With Rich Undertonys

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Iron-Strength Coffee With Rich Undertonys
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I'm not a huge fan, but that's probably because I can't get accustomed to the taste that comes from coffee brewed in Pepper Potts. - Matty Malaprop