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By Unknown
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Danny Keefe, age 6, is the waterboy for his school's football team. Danny suffered a brain hemorrhage shortly after birth, which caused him to have problems with speech growing up. Speech therapy has helped immensely, but it still hasn't prevented Danny from getting picked on by bullies at his school. A few days ago, the football team decided that enough was enough, and rallied around Danny in a truly awesome way.

I need a tissue. Seriously.

americana-this-shirt-will-change-your-life
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"I wasn't ready for this shirt.

I bought it for a 4th of July party, thinking it would be a fun gag shirt. Little did I know. I pulled it out of the box and immediately sank to my knees and wept tears of pure joy, and by "pure joy" I mean "pure Jack Daniel's". I strapped it on and my bench press increased by a 100lbs. I whipped the whisky from my face, looked in the mirror, and in my reflection I saw him behind me.

George Washington. Looking stern and powerful. He nodded once, an affirmation. I knew what I had to do.

I flung myself from the bathroom window and this shirt literally turned me into a bald eagle. I flew over Iraq and pooped tomahawk missiles on ISIS positions, then I flew back home and turned into a 1967 Pontiac GTO and drove all night until I arrived at P****town. Population: Me.