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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Employee gets no coverage for long weekends off, is expected to cover for colleagues taking 2-3 weeks off at once
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Employee refuses to give up their approved PTO when office parents try to guilt trip them into accommodating spring break: 'I'm not giving up my time off just because I don't have kids'
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25-year-old bride refuses to let her stepdad of 2 years walk her down the aisle at her wedding, despite her mom's insistence: 'My parents got divorced when I was 16, but my dad was still a very supportive and prominent role in my life, and still is.'
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Woman forbids roommate from using shared office space for 2-3 hours/day, claims she's having 'confidential' meetings
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Employee considers quitting during week 1 of new job making 3x their previous salary because of disorganization: 'Is this a joke?'
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