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SUCCESS you haven't really failed at life unless you're reading this

MEANWHILE IN VERY DEMOTIVATIONAL you're doing it wrong.

ANGLE MEASURER I believe you mean "protractor."

INTELLIGENT you are not

SUNGLASSES because we're all creepers like you.

THE TOILET no longer in your house

COMIC SANS maybe that's the reason

AND YET those are gryffindor colors.

NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER I'm guessing you one.

*GRANDMA

WAIT.... i think it's a trap

EXCEPT when it's on a girlfriend

CAT PEOPLE notoriously picky

DAMMIT! they're getting wiser! we need a distraction

IT'S THAT SIMPLE it's that dangerous

*GRAMMAR