good idea

50 YARDS AT ALL TIMES ok everything seems in order

THANK GOD It's Friday

THE INTERNET knows all

AT FIRST, I LAUGHED. Then I realized with a bit of creative rewording, it could save my social life.

HEATERS gonna heat

WORK SMARTER not harder

KINDERGARTEN bobby knows his primary colors, and can count to ten, but learning to tie his shoes has left him really on edge. He could also you some more bourbon in his sippy cup

UNTIL you decide to drink

FATHERHOOD if you kill that hooker, you can get your money back

COLLEGE essentials

HE'S STILL OUT THERE Honey call the cops.

GREEK ECONOMY problem solved