Happy birthday, you perfectionist!

Casting spells and taking names

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It’s been one whole week since we’ve been taken out of Mercury in retrograde , and I am so relieved. I feel so much better than I did before, and I don’t even know why. I really shouldn’t pretend to be an astrology expert when I fully am not one, but I can’t help it! It’s just too much fun. Whenever I meet girls at the bar, they ask me my sun, moon, and rising sign, and I tell them “ Libra Sun, Taurus Moon, and Scorpio Rising '' without any hesitation. Then they tell me theirs, and we both earn…

The glorious and long-awaited day is finally here: October 2nd marks the end of this horrifying era we call Mercury in Retrograde . The rains of frogs and plagues of locusts have finally left town, and peace is here once again. Mercury in Retrograde is bad, but it isn't all bad. Hopefully, during these past couple of weeks, you've learned new things about yourself that you wouldn't have learned outside of this astrological era. Maybe you don't think you've learned anything. Perhaps you had a ba…

The time has finally come: Libra season is here. As a lifelong Libra, I should know a great deal about this zodiac sign that I should be able to spring on to those not lucky enough to be born between September 22nd and October 23rd. Unfortunately, I come to you largely empty-handed. I am not a Libra expert. I do come with the most iconic image of Libra-ness: the scales. Regarding my astrological sign, I've always connected the most with the idea of being a balanced person. I try not to make my…

If we're being honest, astrology is hated by so many people because women love it. That's it! That's the only reason. It's such a joke because there's nothing so harmful or irrational in believing in any aspect of astrology. Everyone believes in things that are not completely rational or supported by hard evidence, and if you don't think that applies to you, you're fooling yourself. So many men like to act like they are they are completely rational people, not affected by any subjective outside…

It is very well possible that you are completely ignorant of the field of astrology . If that is you, and you only clicked on this for the expressed purpose of being a hater, welcome. Your presence is noted and valued because we've just entered one of the most recognizable astrological periods of the year. Ladies and gentlemen: Mercury is officially in retrograde. Even if you've never looked at your horoscope in your entire life, you've definitely heard of Mercury in retrograde . This astrologi…

I have a confession to make…I used to not be the biggest fan of Virgos . I know, sue me! Call the coppers! Call the fire department. Call the secretary of state because, baby, I had a bad take. I think it often happens with amateur astrology fans that we meet one or two people of a specific zodiac sign that we don't like, and then we make blanket assumptions about that sign as a whole. I committed such a crime, and for that, I'm truly sorry to the Virgos out there. As part of my penance, I have…

This week, a crime against Virgos occurred that has been overlooked by the general population. Renowned singer, actress, dancer, and clothing designer Jennifer Lopez fired two of her dancers for the crime of being Virgos. The audacity of this woman is far too much. How could she discriminate against the Virgo community in this way? Doesn't she know that Virgo season is upon her, and the wrath of the Virgos is far more ravenous than any other zodiac sign ? You know who a Virgo? Beyoncé. Do you t…

The best thing about horoscopes is that you get a new one every day. I remember when I was a kid, I woke up early to eat breakfast, watch Full House, and read the newspaper with my dad. I would always go to the funnies section for compelling reruns of Peanuts and less-than-good iterations of Dennis the Menace. Next to the cartoons, there were also daily horoscopes. I loved reading my Libra horoscope, my dad's Scorpio horoscope, and the horoscopes of the rest of my family. As much as haters like…

Have you ever wondered what dog breed best represents your astrological sign ? Well, you've come to the right place. Dogs and zodiac signs are an interesting mix because if you got your dog from the shelter, you likely don't know their sign. You have to decide just by vibes whether your rottweiler is an Aquarius or a Scorpio. Spoiler alert, he's a Scorpio. Dogs have a different kind of birthday called “Gotcha Days,” which marks their adoption date. That's way more fun than a birthday could ever…

It's that astrological time of the week once again! Your day of rest is the perfect time to contemplate your place in the galaxy. Why not spend 6 hours staring at the wall and wondering what the stars have in store for you this week? What could go wrong? This week we are still in the thick of Leo season , which means we have more Leo season horoscopes hot and ready for you. If you were born in the other half of the year, check out your Leo season predictions in last week's horoscopes . Libra: Y…

We are officially in the thick of Leo season, and it feels so good. This time of year is accompanied by many things: record high temperatures, corny back-to-school advertisements, and of course, the celebrated births of those who emerged from their mother's womb between July 22nd to August 23rd. In celebration of this exciting month, here are some Leo Season Horoscopes for your pleasure. Aries: Pay attention during Leo season. A lot of little bugs will come out of the woodworks, and you should…

It's finally here, the moment all of us with Leo friends have been waiting for…it's Leo Season! Well, kind of. Although Leo season has begun on paper, if you were born July 19th-July 25th, you are actually on the Cancer Leo cusp, which means you have characteristics of both Cancer and Leo. Some famous Cancer/Leos are Jennifer Lopez, Woody Harelson, Selena Gomez, and Daniel Radcliffe. If you fall in this delicate space between these very different signs, you're in good company! Cancer Leo cusps…

Good morning starshine! The earth says hello! If you've clicked on this article, I have reason to believe you are an individual of the astrological persuasion. If so, welcome! This is a safe space for you. I never really understood why people were such haters of astrology. If you're a guy who has preemptively judged for your astrological sign by women, that could be an impetus for rage. But let's be honest: if you're an Aries , and your crush is a Cancer , and she rejects you because of that, y…