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USA Today Published A Hilarious Guide For Old People To Decode Teen Slang

If you're an old person (read: under the age of 20), then you've probably spent a fair amount of time listening to the kids today use strange words that mean absolutely nothing to you. You know, like yeet, woke or thicc. What do they mean? You don't know! At this point, you might feel too embarrassed to ask them for fear of looking like a moron. Never fear, fellow oldie, because USA Today published a guide to tell you exactly what it is the kids are saying these days!

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Trump's 'Space Force' Is Officially A Go And The Internet Is Going Bananas

Donald Trump's "Space Force" proposal is officially coming to fruition, according to an announcement made by Vice President Mike Pence this morning. Pence stated that the Pentagon has started the planning process for the Space Force which, if authorized by Congress, will constitute the sixth branch of United States Military.

The announcement comes two months after Trump called for a Space Force on the grounds that the US should have the potential to protect its military dominance in space against the likes of China and Russia, who have begun making their own respective outer-space advancements. Specifically, a Space Force would serve to defend American satellites from attack.

China and Russia are currently looking to "reduce US military effectiveness," Pence said in a report by USA Today.

Don't get too comfortable with the idea of having a Space Force yet, however. The Trump Administration still needs to get approval from Congress in order to receive funding, although Pence appears hopeful that they are gaining support for the plan.

Should the Administration receive the necessary funding, Pence stated in his speech that the Space Force will be completed by 2020, and that a US Space Command will be created beforehand, drawing officers and forces from other current military branches.

People on the internet have been offering their thoughts on the Space Force, many more snarky than others. What do you think? Let us know in the comments!

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Oh, you thought that hill was yours, ISIS? Yeah, nah.

Challenge Accepted SpongeBob SquarePants stephen colbert usa today - 6599720960
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Stephen Colbert made fun of USA Today's logo change, and the newspaper made two special versions of the new logo especially for him. One in his likeness, the other in response to his challenge to cover "non-circular news." Specifically, SpongeBob SquarePants eating Doritos at the Pentagon. Truly, the most important news of the day.