Robin Hood was a pretty cool guy. He stole from the rich and gave to the poor, and he had a fraternity of merry men following him all the time. This man had a network of support that I find enviable. He is also skilled at archery, making him a well-rounded hot athlete. What can't this man do? I admit that the only Robin Hood movie I've ever seen is Robin Hood: Men in Tights . I never watched the Disney version for one reason and one reason only: I know the Mel Brooks adaptation is superior. I w…

I discovered sarcasm at an early age. I vividly recall discussing the definition of the word with a fellow second grader, and we determined that sarcasm was “saying something nice in a mean way.” We were pretty on the money, but Merriam-Webster describes it as follows: Sarcasm refers to the use of words that mean the opposite of what you really want to say, especially in order to insult someone, or to show irritation, or just to be funny. Not everybody gets sarcasm. When you have a Saharan dese…

Like many internet addicts, I am unsatisfied by merely one genre of memes. Offline people love to talk about how cat memes are the only good thing that's ever happened to the internet. I agree that cat memes are a remarkable phenomenon that brings joy to millions of people every day. However, I'm skeptical that cat memes are the be-all end-all of meme culture. Any topic can be memeified, and every topic is memeified! Remember those Rules of the Internet ? It's wild that it doesn't include a "Ru…

This is style?

As a geriatric millennial, I can remember a time when you added every single person you met on social media. Briefly introduced to someone new at a frat party? Added on Facebook. Take a pic with someone at the boat rave? Added on Facebook and Instagram. You get the idea. These days, influencers aside, people seem to be more discerning about sharing their accounts with others. Some even have “finstas” and “rinstas” to keep some of their content within their intimate social circles. Being more ch…

Was it that great?

Youth does not last forever, and for many people, that is unforgivable. This week, Twitter user @thenorthmens went viral after posting two pictures of Leonardo DiCaprio: one in the 90s and one now, with the caption, “twink death is a terrifying thing.” If you didn't know, a twink is a slim, young, and hairless gay man. You might think, “but Leonardo DiCaprio does not fit into that category at any age!” You would be correct, but that matters very little to Twitter users. Twitter users will call…

I know I can't be the only person who has been seeing people virtue-signaling their healthy routines online. The number of times I've watched videos or seen photos of people meal-prepping or organizing their vegetables has become ridiculous. As much as I'd like to be someone who can set and forget their meals for the week, as someone who actually gives a sh*t about what I eat, the idea of meal prep has always grossed me out. Those stacked Tupperwares of pallid chicken and bland-looking brown ri…

Are you familiar with the concept of seasoning cast iron cookware? The intention behind the process, which is essentially baking oil into the cookware, is to make it a nonstick surface and to help protect it from rusting. People are pretty intense about their cast iron, which probably explains all the memes against washing the cookware in a dishwasher or (gasp!) using soap. Contrary to what some may believe or tout on the Internet, it's OK to use a little soap on cast iron, as long as you reple…

As technology progresses over the years, there always seems to be a number of people stomping their feet in protest. When I was younger, I would always dismiss these people as Luddites - until Apple took away our precious headphone jack back in 2017. For about two or three years, playing music from an iPhone got a bit more complicated. IPhone users were forced to buy dongles, and impromptu DJ sessions at friends' houses or at bars involved a frantic search for these adaptors. It was frustrating…

Do any minorities in the wizarding world have normal names?

She does a pretty good Stevie Nicks.

Inquiring minds would like to know, how has your 2023 been thus far? It's wild to think that we have arrived in February, but I think many of us hope these first three months of the year pass as quickly as possible. After all, it's hard to live your best life when it is 10 degrees Fahrenheit outside on a Friday night. Luckily for me, I am obsessed with this time of the year. I feel like it is much easier for me to change my bad habits during January and February than it is to do so in the summe…

People who don't go to standup shows think that standup comedy is an incredibly cool art form. These fools believe that only the most hilarious and intelligent people can do standup, and anybody who does it must be a comedic genius. Luckily for them, they are 100% incorrect! Standup comedy shows are breeding grounds for humiliation and failure. Most of the people who do standup are not very good at it. If you ever want a surefire way to feel good about yourself, go to an open mic in a midsized…

Audacious

Lying is bad. At least that's what they tell you from a young age. But as controversial as it may sound, sometimes lies are necessary - even from the people who are supposed to teach kids right from wrong. You see, parenting is difficult. You've got these annoying critters hanging around 24/7, and they always seem to want things that are either bad for them or prevent you from having a good time. The thing is, they've got some pretty malleable brains. They're still learning about how the world…