We knew that the pump-and-dump schemers of the crypto world were stupid – but sometimes we're still flabbergasted by the idiocy they display on a regular basis on public forums such as Twitter. This week, the crypto grindset bro that most, well, ground our gears was a certain Gavin Mayo (@EarnMayo), who got roasted to a crisp by users of the bird app. See, he thought it would be impressive to share a video of a lighter he had dropped an insane $7k on. “I spent $7000 on a lighter today. We are n…

There's no way around it: Twitter has a tendency to feel like a Speaker's Corner on meth or maybe Adderall or Vyvanse. There are just so many inane thoughts being boldly flung into the Twitterverse at any given moment. The political rants, the TMI moments from oversharing individuals, the banal stories from bad or annoying mothers. That said, the app can actually be delightful when you manage to block out the Twitter slush and enjoy the rare comedic gems. It's taken us many years to block the a…

They smell fantastic!

So selfish

Outrageous

You heard me

Flying with kids is so nerve-wracking. The most stressful part is gauging whether your kids will cry or have tantrums inside an enclosed metal tube for three hours. The second biggest challenge is keeping them occupied, which is much easier nowadays with tablets and iPads. A tertiary concern might be that your kids could make a mess on the plane. Luckily, if they don't throw up or have an accident, most messes are easy to pick up! At least, so we think. Semi-famous people are obsessed with twee…

There are times to slow down and times to speed up. If you're luxuriating in a delicious bubble bath on a Friday night, it's time to sit back and take your damn time because it won't last forever. If you're working as a lifeguard at your local community pool and you see some suspicious bubbles, you know what to do sport. Consuming memes can lean towards being a speedy activity; you want those memes hot, fresh, and sizzling, and then you want to move on and take in some more memes. As someone wh…

Happy Monday, internet users and abusers. Twitter has always been a bit of a sh*tshow, to say the least, but since Elon Musk has gotten his corny mitts on the app, things only seem to be getting worse. Instead of seeing delightfully funny tidbits from Internet strangers, we're seeing a whole lot of garbage on our “For You” feeds. But has that dissuaded us from patching together a fabulous quilt of fresh and stupidly funny tweets for your scrolling pleasure? Hell no.

Heh

The best recent Tweets from the bird app

I've been on Twitter for longer than any reasonable person should be on Twitter. I definitely had an account before I turned 13, and I've been tweeting up a storm ever since. I was especially obsessed with tweeting when I was in high school. Not to brag, but I was featured on my school's student news for having one of the funniest Twitter accounts at our school. Slow news day, I know, but it was impressive at the time. When I look back at those old tweets, I cringe like there's no tomorrow. I c…

Haha

In a not-so-shocking development, Elon Musk has made his newest attempt at being liked by literally anyone. This time he’s gone full-on conservative pundit mode, desperately vying for the approval of the right. The king of second-hand embarrassment himself tweeted a number of anti-trans tweets today. Perfect timing when you consider his imminent two-part interview with conservative outrage superstar Tucker Carlson. This is just another step in Musk’s journey of being an unlikable failure. Earli…

Has this ever happened to you? You're sitting in the window seat on an airplane, people are boarding, and you're praying nobody sits beside you. When you think you might be in the clear, a chatty Cathy sits next to you and tries to get your whole life story. I don't know about you all, but this has literally never happened to me. I've been on many an airplane in my day, and never once has somebody tried to strike up a conversation with me while we're sequestered in a sealed metal tube. There ar…

That hits the spot