I am so glad I grew up offline. Don't get me wrong, I cherish and enjoy every single solitary second I spend on this sacred place we call “the internet.” However, I'm glad my uncensored access to the world wide web didn't begin until I was 12. I still grew up during the era when little kids didn't have phones, and we just watched the same episode of Hannah Montana over and over again to amuse ourselves. We were still flying our brains, but with Cartoon Network instead of TikTok. Kids no longer…

Where does a meme end and a tweet begin? Can tweets be memes? Can a trend that originated on Twitter transcend to become something beyond what mere memes can encapsulate? These are questions that I simply can't and won't answer. Just because I'm here does not make me a confident meme expert. I am just a dum-dum whose brain is fueled by exorbitant amounts of Diet Mountain Dew at press time. The one thing I do know is that I am not going to quit Twitter . I've been on that godforsaken website sin…

It's fashion

Take your time

Maybe

Twitter Blue is out in full force, and with that comes the Twitter Blue defenders. Many people are roasting those who've subscribed to this paid verification service, and they are getting a wee bit defensive about it. If I paid $8 a month for a practically worthless service, I, too, would get a bit defensive about it. One dude went viral for the oxymoron “I'm paying for free speech.” Others exalt the new feature as a way to find community and boost your tweets. Unfortunately, having a blue chec…

Reddit is not the enemy

Twitter verification is among the few things the bird website ever did right. People try to impersonate celebrities online constantly, and verification used to be an easy way to ensure someone was who they said they were. Unfortunately, Elon Musk is now the owner of Twitter, and he got mad that journalists he disagreed with had the same blue check that he did. So, he introduced Twitter Blue so ordinary people could buy a Twitter verification for $8 a month. Everybody roasted it for the stupid i…

They smell fantastic!

Flying with kids is so nerve-wracking. The most stressful part is gauging whether your kids will cry or have tantrums inside an enclosed metal tube for three hours. The second biggest challenge is keeping them occupied, which is much easier nowadays with tablets and iPads. A tertiary concern might be that your kids could make a mess on the plane. Luckily, if they don't throw up or have an accident, most messes are easy to pick up! At least, so we think. Semi-famous people are obsessed with twee…

I've been on Twitter for longer than any reasonable person should be on Twitter. I definitely had an account before I turned 13, and I've been tweeting up a storm ever since. I was especially obsessed with tweeting when I was in high school. Not to brag, but I was featured on my school's student news for having one of the funniest Twitter accounts at our school. Slow news day, I know, but it was impressive at the time. When I look back at those old tweets, I cringe like there's no tomorrow. I c…

Has this ever happened to you? You're sitting in the window seat on an airplane, people are boarding, and you're praying nobody sits beside you. When you think you might be in the clear, a chatty Cathy sits next to you and tries to get your whole life story. I don't know about you all, but this has literally never happened to me. I've been on many an airplane in my day, and never once has somebody tried to strike up a conversation with me while we're sequestered in a sealed metal tube. There ar…

I dare you, Warner Bros

Happy Holidays!

Silly silly silly!

There are a lot of celebrity look-alikes that are well-established and highly documented. Everybody knows that Daniel Radcliffe and Elijah Wood look like brothers. There are ten million actresses who have Margot Robbie vibes, most notably Samara Weaving. However, there are a lot of celebrities who look like each other that we don't tend to acknowledge. There are many reasons for this. Someone who's a fan of Megan Thee Stallion might not always know who Veronica Lake is and vice versa, making th…