tortoise

But I'm going to NOPE all the way to the bank if you tell me this great beast has two hearts. - Matty Malaprop

He's a fearsome god, but he'd probably be more fearsome with glasses. He's painfully Mjolnir-sighted. - Matty Malaprop

The odds are especially rigged against the hare here given that the tortoise has "you are home" tattooed inside his shell, "Memento"-style. - Matty Malaprop