Mr. Krabs in the flesh!

I have never been discriminated against on the ground of being blonde. A blessed bottle of bleach touched my scalp for the first time when I was twenty, and I've been addicted ever since. Being blonde has gotten me nothing but compliments and a couple of wild assumptions that it's natural, which is absurd considering the brown caterpillars that are my eyebrows. "Dumb blonde" is one of those playground insults. It can be exceedingly hurtful to kids who are called that, but kids usually grow out…

I discovered sarcasm at an early age. I vividly recall discussing the definition of the word with a fellow second grader, and we determined that sarcasm was “saying something nice in a mean way.” We were pretty on the money, but Merriam-Webster describes it as follows: Sarcasm refers to the use of words that mean the opposite of what you really want to say, especially in order to insult someone, or to show irritation, or just to be funny. Not everybody gets sarcasm. When you have a Saharan dese…