Never learn again

One of the hardest things about being a programmer is that you're not subject to the typical 9-5 workday. For many workers, if you can't get it done by Friday, you can merely shrug and get back to it on Monday morning. When you're a programmer, you have to work until the code is done and it works, and that's a lot easier said than done. Nobody knows why there are always so many problems with code when you first finish it. At this point, it's a medical mystery. But there is always something you…

The lines between reality and fiction are becoming more blurred as newfangled technology rears its head. I remember when deepfakes first came out, and seeing merely experimental videos utilizing that technology was frightening. Deepfakes essentially marked the beginning of an era of the internet where we knew that anyone, anything they said, and anything they did could be completely manufactured and fake. It was only a matter of time before deepfake or fully virtual celebrities emerged. The mos…

As a young kid interested in math and engineering, you'd never think that a misplaced semicolon, parentheses, or bracket could get you down so badly. The feeling of spending hours and hours on your beautifully crafted code can inspire pride. “Look at me," you might think. “I've created an impeccable masterpiece that could never be replicated. This is better than anything in the MOMA, the Met, or the Louvre. I was sent to earth with the Midas touch, and baby, I've been getting my hands dirty." B…

It's clever

Didn't need to know that

It's elaborate

They say capitalism breeds innovation, but the need to spend extra time answering your smart dishwasher's product survey in order for the thing to function hardly feels "innovative." They say artificial intelligence is going to replace humans, but a pathetic little robot that needs a human to help it out of the snow doesn't seem very intimidating. And don't get me started on subscription-based features. Other than blatantly holding your car hostage, what's the point of a bluetooth-enabled key f…

Being a relatively new programmer is like living in two completely different worlds. Non-programmers think you are the absolute dog's meow. They act like you cured cancer, achieved world peace, and are worth 20 billion dollars. That kind of validation for choosing a well-paying career path can feel good, but it wears off soon enough when you're around senior programmers . You feel like the most useless ant at the picnic when you're with guys who've been doing it for years. In that room, you're…

Connecting objects to the internet just leads to boring dystopia

Programming and memes have had a symbiotic relationship for years. Everything we see online is thanks to the work of programmers. You could not read this paragraph on your phone or computer if there were not somebody who had to code this first. It's hard to imagine the enormity of the work programmers do, especially when you're constantly inundated with different websites and images. It's shocking to remember that there's a person behind every screen you see. Symbiotic relationships go two ways…

Zucc is shaking

There's been an epidemic sweeping the programming memes community. One meme has positively overtaken r/ProgrammerHumor to the point that it's nearly unuseable. I'm of course talking about, “what's stopping you from coding like this?”

It's IT time! I know what you're wondering: Do you mean IT, the classic Stephen King novel and 2017/2019 films about clowning gone wrong? Absolutely not, you stupid baby! It's IT time as in, the actually important IT, which stands for Information Technology . Now I will be honest with y'all. I am not a diva of the IT or computer science persuasion. I am merely a humble former English major hoping that the STEM kids in the room accept these memes into their hearts. Even if I don't fully understa…

Do the math

>be robot