Story Time

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Lively Thread Describes Tense Face Off Between One Man And A Bird

When most of us think of unconventional home intruders, we're more likely to recall the image of a flamboyant, striped-shirted cat burglar of The Sims than members of the animal kingdom. Wildlife doesn't tend to have a taste for the great indoors, unless you're dealing with something that is a case for pest control.

That being said, there can be some unfortunate exceptions. This is what Twitter user @michaelharriot recently found out, when he found himself having a confrontation with one surprisingly aggressive bird after it flew into his kitchen. Anyone who has dealt with an unwanted feathered guest can tell you that it's a task getting them to leave, but this one seemed especially difficult. You know you have it hard when you have to involve multiple household utensils.

michaelharriot, bird, birds, intruder, house, home, catching, stress, face off, twitter, funny twitter, story time
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Tumblr Thread Highlights Wholesome 'Boys Will Be Boys' Moments

Saying "Boys will be boys" can be such a lazy way to excuse behavior that should be inexcusable. It's a phrase that many people have rallied against, especially as it's generally used to minimize aggressive behavior. This wholesome Tumblr thread shines a light on the positive side of the incredibly overused adage, and features some happy success stories to boot. We love to see it.

Funny tumblr thread about wholesome boys will be boys moments, frat guys
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Dude Finds Shrimp In Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Hilarious Twitter Saga Ensues

Have you ever sat down for a deliciously predictable breakfast of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, eaten it, and then found a bunch of shrimp tails in the damn package? Well, Jensen Karp can officially say he has. The writer and father of three caused quite the ruckus on Twitter yesterday when he shared a photo of his cereal package - along with several cinnamon toast crunch-ified crustacean tails. The response to his grisly discovery were mixed. Some people were horrified (and rightfully so: many people have deadly shrimp allergies). Others made jokes. Things were all well, good, and funny until the brand responsible decided to deny the reality of the situation and claim the shrimp were in fact an "accumulation of cinnamon sugar." 

The insulting response inspired some understandably irate reactions, as well as some further investigations that yielded bizarre black bits (some say they're maggots) cooked into the popular breakfast cereal. As well as several types of string. The whole saga has been painstakingly documented by Karp in a long series of amusing tweets. As of now, he's having his discoveries tested. Mostly to prove General Mills that his shrimp identification was correct, and that they could have sickened a whole lot of people.  While it's true we wouldn't want to switch places with him, we're pretty glad we had someone to entertain us for another day on the internet. Those test results better come ASAP.

Funny Twitter saga of Jensen Karp finding shrimp tails in his cinnamon toast crunch, lol, funny, social media funny tweets
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Twitter Story Details Dude's Plot To Expose Neighbor's Cheating Boyfriend

Missing R. Kelly's Trapped In The Closet but feeling guilty because he's a scumbag? Have no fear! Twitter user @TheeDreadGod (a true master of the Twitter 'story time') is here with what can almost be considered a real-life version of the R&B singer's series. This dramatic twitter thread is full of twists, turns, and a whole lot of pizza. If you enjoy what you read below, give @TheeDreadGod a follow. He's got loads more stories where this one came from. 

Funny twitter story about someone who ordered pizza to help his upstairs neighbor catch her boyfriend cheating. | TheeDreadGod @TheeDreadGod delivery driver her Boyfriend be cheating while she at work so placed Story Time: My neighbors Pizza an order so she can come home catch him act RISE EAt NST EVERY BITE SALTH
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Wholesome Twitter Story Is A Whirlwind Of Good Deeds & Humor

Twitter is a lot of things: a hub for political rants and raves, a sounding board for comedians, and a great way to keep up with current events and gossip. And as Twitter user @sixthformpoet displays in this classic thread, it's also a fabulous medium for storytellers who deserve their voices to be heard. This three part tale has it all: sadness, serendipitous romance, humor, and even some serious life lessons. And we're willing to bet you'll want more when you reach the end.

Funny three part twitter story from @sixthformpoet, classic twitter thread, tweets, funny tweets, wholesome, love, death, visiting father's grave | sixthformpoet @sixthformpoet ONE My dad died. Classic start funny story. He buried small village Sussex really close my dad so visited his grave lot still do DON'T WORRY GETS FUNNIER 11:52 09/06/2019 Twitter iPhone 175K Retweets 392K Likes
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Epic Twitter Saga Involving Kevin Hart, A Stripper, And Narrowly Avoiding Death

Buckle up folks, this is one hell of a wild ride! Twitter user and comedian @avitable took to the social media site to regale us with a story of narrowly avoiding death at the hand of an unhinged stripper. It starts innocently enough with a Kevin Hart show, and ends with some seriously unfortunate mug shots. While we appreciate the insanity of his story, we're mostly just glad he made it out alive.

Funny twitter story about strippers, kevin hard, and narrowly avoided dead | Adam Heath Avitable @avitable Okay, tweeps, it's storytime. The year was 2015. A young (er) Avitable had tickets to go see @KevinHart4real on April 24th, and invited a stripper named Mandi May Jackson who he knew from his local adult establishment. She agreed, he picked her and they went out on the 'dn town... Adam Heath Avitable is at Amway Center Club Level. April 24, 2015 Orlando Feeling goofy before Kevin Hart gets
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Creative Dude Expertly Trolls Text Scammer With The Help Of Photoshop

The ol' text scammer begging for gift cards to benefit some fake cause has sadly become a tale as old as time. People who are less than senile have definitely started to catch on, and some enterprising individuals even try to put the scammers in their place. This particular genius decided to flex his Photoshop skills to attempt to send this would-be scammer a message. It took the loser while to catch on. 

Funny texts, scammer getting trolled, itunes gift cards | 1D barcode - 6:27 +1 (740) 673-0132 iTunes QW44EATADICK4A7D $1 88590991989 send receipt cards
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Fanatical Christian Girl Sets G-Rated Ground Rules For Friend's Vegas Bachelorette Party

Dear God (no pun intended), this story is a hoot if we ever saw one. When this girl didn't get invited to her friend's bachelorette party in Vegas, she made a scene until the bride decided to invite her. It doesn't stop there though: she then sent out an email with a list of very Christian-influenced "rules" for the bride and her friends, and let's just say they're quite tame for a bachelorette getaway in Sin City...

christian girl takes over bachelorette party | 1. Sunday 12th have found an appropriate church and contacted Pastor there explaining out town, but still like attend services. Sunday 7:15 am be Ubering church.
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Guy's Twitter Story About His Psycho Ex Will Leave You Feeling SHOOK

Strap in for this wild story about a guy's totally insane ex-girlfriend!

We love a good Funny Tweet so check out some more here. 

funny tweets | Hoemar @Hoemar 15h 4 months after getting know each other like f why wait so asked her be my girlfriend 158 795 Hoemar @Hoemar 15h WORST MISTAKE MY DAMN LIFE YO
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Director's Touching Story Of Crying In Keanu's Arms Confirms The Actor Is An Angel

Montreal-based writer and director Andrew Todd is officially on our hit list. He hasn't committed any serious crimes against our soul, but he has had the blessing of weeping in the arms of John Wick 3 star Keanu Reeves. We're just so jealous that he's been touched by the living, breathing, and villain-slaying meme. Todd hopped on Twitter to share this heartwarming and nerdy tale, and now we're here to share it with you.

Funny story from @mistertodd, Andrew Todd, about crying in the arms of Keanu Reeves.
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Police Respond To Two Adult-Babies Having A Petty Parking Lot Standoff In This Absurd Twitter Story

Sometimes fully grown adults can really amaze us with their stupid levels of pettiness. Like, seriously, this is some middle school-level grade-A pettiness right here. In this particular "case" (if you can even call it that), Lawrence Police in Kansas responded to two adult children having the world's pettiest standoff in a private parking lot. Enjoy!

petty fight over parking lot
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