It's 6 a.m. You wake up feeling refreshed and well-rested even though your alarm hasn't even started screaming yet. 'Today I will eat three healthy meals and exercise after work!' you think to yourself as you apply your age-defying retinoid cream. You're experiencing one of those special and rare mornings where you're feeling good about life and you're determined not to screw this one up. You decide to ride your bike to work today. The sight of maple leaves swaying in the breeze and the sound of the white-throated sparrow's cheerful melody fill you with a familiar sensation of warmth you haven't felt in a long time. But just as you're about to burst into song, a pothole swallows your wheel and you go flying into a pile of garbage. 'Ha ha ha ha ha!' you put on a nervous laugh so the freaked out onlookers know you're totally fine even though your knees are bleeding, 'good thing I wore a helmet ha ha ha ha ha!'
You literally smell like trash but it's not going to get you down. You've still got that homemade green juice in your backpack that will revive you once you get to the office. Then it occurs to you that your back feels a bit damp and so you take a look inside your backpack. You find that the mason jar that was holding your green juice must have shattered when you fell and now there's broken glass and sticky liquid all over your work laptop. You smile through gritted teeth. 'This will be a good day god f*cking damnit.'
You arrive to work drenched in garbage juice and actual juice. The boss asks you why you smell like that. You ask the boss why it feels like an oven in the office. You find out it's because the air conditioning is busted. Oh, and also the toilets are clogged. In fact, everything is going wrong and it's turning out to be one of the worst days of your life. You slump down into your office chair, which breaks under your weight. You open your phone, scroll through some funny memes and start to feel a bit normal again. The memes start coming and don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and you hit the ground running. Doesn't make sense not to live for fun—your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
