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'Every Straight Girl' Tweets Are Hilarious Satire For Any Girl Dating A Loser

"Every Straight Girl on this Site" is a tweet that refers to women who have positive qualities who date men with negative qualities. The original tweet was specifically about women who live in beautiful apartments dating men who sleep on a dirty, disgusting mattress on the floor. People on Twitter have since begun exaggerating the scenarios into complete satire, resulting in hilarity.

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Women Who Were Perfectly Groomed Even In An Apocalyptic World

Sometimes you have to get your life in order, and staying perfectly groomed should always be one of your biggest priorities, ladies. Twitter pointed out recently that the women of The Walking Dead always look flawless, no matter what impending doom they might be facing. Even if you're just trying to survive on a desert island, you should plan to always have your razor and makeup within arm's reach. These women set a perfect example that you should always look good no matter what!

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If people made a sandwich for every hateful YoutTube comment, it could end world hunger.

trending satire news american girl betchiness ranking lol
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American Girls. Those super-expensive dolls you could buy to look creepily exactly like you, look nothing like you, or to just be cute:


She's definitely cute


We can agree--whether with our parents over how much they cost, or at our friends for not letting us rip off their heads or cut off their hair--we have all had anger toward them at some point in our lives.

Enter Betches and their definitive ranking of the American Girls by Betchiness.

We get the glory of seeing that entitled historical b*tch Samantha, finally getting put in her place.

...and seeing Josefina Montoya--pronounced "HO-SEF-INA" (I know, because I used to work there and was REQUIRED to correct people who called in to order one, fun times)--put in her damn place brings me NO END of pleasure:




Plus with randos like Caroline Abbott...


...you will feel the satisfying burn of familiar hatred sparked within the childlike center of your soul.


Don't you just hate our faces?!


Check out more of the awesomeness and pick your favorite betch here.