roasted

This week in covidiot news: Bruce Willis refused to cover his face with a bandana he had wrapped around his neck after Rite Aid employees confronted him. Other customers were rightfully upset, as the incident took place in Los Angeles—a Covid-19 hotbed where the virus has already claimed 10,000 lives. Is it possible to live free and die hard? Because it seems like Bruce is trying to achieve both.

Page Six reported the incident, prompting Twitter to do what it does best—roast the hell out of the doer of the Bad Thing. We've collected some of the best tweets that cleverly use the titles of movies starring Willis to put a punny spin on all the fuss. 

It's the first week of 2021, and if the CIA had rebranding on their list of resolutions, they can cross that sh*t off. The spy agency unveiled their new website design today, and it looks, well, pretty familiar. That could be because it resembles a Berlin rave poster, or maybe because it's also strangely similar to the oft-copied art of Joy Division's Unknown Pleasures. Either way, the design job simply aches of the agency's yearning for fresh blood and diverse operatives. It's a look we have yet to see from dry and dull government agencies. But this departure from the bureaucratic design of yore seems to be a bit too intense for the critics of Twitter. The rebrand is now the subject of a whole lot of scathing (and witty) commentary. Most of the humor lies in the niche intersections of art, music, and geography, but we're pretty sure at least some of these tweets will register to your brain as "funny" or "true." And hey, maybe their design will convince you to aid in a coup or two of your own. 

Everyone loves a good roast, but @charlee_buns just upped the ante with this incredible thread dedicated to slandering infants. Finally, a safe space for exhausted parents and baby-phobes to commiserate! We like to think that even "breeders" will enjoy these goofy roasts.

2020's pretty much been a wash in most respects. People dying. Can't hang out with friends or see family. Can't go to the gym. Political turmoil. Unemployment. Evictions. The terrible list goes on. The year, however, has excelled in one area: inspiring some seriously savage burns and comebacks. All the political back and forth and mask debates really seem to stir up trouble. And we're totally here for it.

Kim Kardashian has done it again. In what can only be described as an excruciating un-humble brag, the reality star decided that now was the time to tell the internet about her lavish 40th birthday vacation on a private island. 

After 2 weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were normal just for a brief moment in time. pic.twitter.com/cIFP7Nv5bV

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) October 27, 2020

This tweet is from an obnoxiously long thread in which Kardashian goes through pains to tell us all about her incredible trip. Surrounded by friends and family, Kim was able to indulge in activities like dancing, swimming near whales, movies on the beach, and probably some very expensive alcohol. The thread was punctuated with an incredibly tone-deaf disclaimer: "I realize that for most people, this is something that is so far out of reach right now, so in moments like these, I am humbly reminded of how privileged my life is." 

Judging by the response to the thread, her humble appeal to the poors has not made anyone feel better. The fact that Kardashian saw fit to flaunt her wealth during the middle of a pandemic - while people are dying - is something that most people can't get past. While some people are calling Kardashian out in quote-tweets, others are employing a little more nuance. With memes. The "After 2 weeks and multiple health screens" tweet has become a popular copypasta, and industrious Twitter users are swapping out Kim's photo for funnier (and scarier) images from pop culture. Using everything from Jeffrey Epstein's island of sin to Jurassic Park, the memes are both scathing and excellent. Hopefully Kim will think twice before channeling Marie Antoinette in the future. 

Electronic pop group The Chainsmokers are being widely criticized following a "Drive-In" charity concert they performed in the Hamptons on Saturday. The performance was intended to raise money for charities, with tickets prices ranging between $1,250 to $2,500. The hefty cost is no surprise given the New York summer spot's incredibly wealthy reputation.

While organizers of the event said the temperatures of all 3,000 attendees were checked, and that preventative social distancing was enforced, social media footage from the event paints a different story. Video from the concert appears to show a sizable crowd that's clearly ignoring the 6ft rules of safe distance. The footage is so damning that Governor Andrew Cuomo tweeted his disapproval late Monday: 

"Videos from a concert held in Southampton on Saturday show egregious social distancing violations. I am appalled. The Department of Health will conduct an investigation. We have no tolerance for the illegal & reckless endangerment of public health."

Though organizers of the "Safe and Sound" event claim to have worked with state and local health officials to keep attendees safe, the response from government figures says otherwise.  Howard Zucker, the New York State Health Commissioner, sent a perplexed letter to the Town of Southampton expressing his shock that anyone would think this show was a good idea during a deadly pandemic.

As of right now, the event is being investigated by the New York Department of Health - and the Chainsmokers have yet to comment on the situation. But folks on Twitter seem to have a lot to say about the oft-roasted music group's incredibly callous performance. We've put together the best tweets for your entertainment. Now all we can do is hope that the Northeast doesn't get that second wave it's been desperately avoiding. 

As Covid-19 cases surge in Texas after what many people are calling a premature reopening, people are still complaining about masks and having to stay home. And there are some even worse people, who despite the call for citizens to stay home, are instead spending their time at restaurants and then having the gall to complain about service. 

Twitter user @jsv4 made himself ripe for roasting and parodies when he decided to criticize the service at Mi Cocina Tex Mex in Allen, Texas.

"@MiCocina_TexMex My wife, date night after 3+ months locked up on quarantine. Waiting for shredded cheese as it's the only way she can eat fajitas. We've asked 4 people, going on 18 minutes now. Just unreal at Allen, TX location. We gotta quit blaming #COVID19 for crappy service."

He paired the text with an image of his wife looking distraught. Distraught over a lack of shredded cheese - an accompaniment that isn't even served with fajitas. Twitter users were quick to call out this male Karen for his blatant disregard for both the pandemic and the servers who really have no choice but to serve entitled individuals who feel its their right to dine out during a national emergency. We've included the best roasts and parodies of the tweet here, but we're willing to bet we'll be seeing more. And we hope the savagery discourages other entitled folks from frivolous dining and cold-hearted complaining.

It looks like rich white celebrities have learned absolutely nothing from the Gal Gadot 'Imagine' video's backlash. While that controversial John Lennon sing-along was about the coronavirus pandemic, today's cringey video is an attempt by actors like Aaron Paul, Stanley Tucci and Julianne Moore to address racism. The video features the actors (and KeSha) "taking responsibility" for their roles in turning a blind eye to racism at home and in the workplace. While the sentiment is hard to argue with, the video is being ridiculed for being a tone deaf performative display of "wokeness." And we have to admit that it's hard to feel moved by rich and privileged actors reading from a script. Though we hope this is the last celebrity video of its kind, it's hard to help being amused by the tweets that mock the clip. And we've put a whole lot of 'em together right here.

Writer Dana Schwartz found herself the target of a lot of angry South Park fans yesterday after tweeting about the long-running Comedy Central cartoon. Schwartz, who writes for She-Hulk, took to the site to express her feeling that South Park is responsible for many of our cultural ills. 

"In retrospect, it seems impossible to overstate the cultural damage done by SOUTH PARK, the show that portrayed earnestness as the only sin and taught that mockery is the ultimate inoculation against all criticism. Smugness is not the same as intelligence; provocation isn't the same as bravery. The lesser of two evils aren't the same."

Her hot take angered many fans of the controversial show, who quickly began a trolling and roasting campaign in the tweet's replies. While some of the replies went the immature route, others were more thoughtful defenses of the television show and its effect on society. Pretty much all of the tweets were entertaining (especially Schwartz's official response). We've put some of our favorite zingers in this gallery, but you can scroll through more of the drama here.

Old habits die hard, and according to this new Twitter meme, you don't have to be in high school to roast people over music. And what kind of people does Twitter just love to troll and meme? Politicians. The latest victim is Mayor Pete Buttigieg, one of several Democratic candidates vying for the 2020 presidency. 

The meme uses an April 2019 photo of Buttigieg making a radio appearance, but in the last month the photo has been used by Twitter users to mock the dude musically. Folks are pairing the photo of Mayor Pete in lime green headphones with "bad" or absurd artists. It's a low-effort meme, but the site seems to be enjoying them. And Bernie Sanders even makes an appearance in a few iterations. We're not going to pretend that the meme is doing anything revolutionary, but we're having fun with it. It's definitely more creative than people calling each other names!

Well, they literally asked for these brutal roasts.

The Internet Gods have spoken: we have been overdue for another stupid social media privacy hoax. This time around, boomers and the technologically ignorant are concerned about their already non-existent privacy on image-sharing site Instagram.The post claims that deleted photos and messages will be made public unless the "memo" is shared. The message is laughable, but the masses are pretty damn gullible where privacy is concerned. To make matters worse, celebrities and politicians such as Rick Perry (The US Secretary of Energy...) and Usher have been sharing the bogus spam as well. Instagram and Twitter users with a bit more of their wits about them have been using this opportunity to roast their share-happy peers via memes and exasperated tweets - and the results are pretty fricken' funny. 

Reddit'sr/roastme community can be brutal, but these poor souls definitely asked for it!

We love a good roast as much as the next person, and r/RoastMe really never fails to deliver in the schadenfreude department. We've rounded up some of the freshest and funniest roasts from the subreddit so you can mock these masochists without doing any work. You're welcome.