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Spoiled Rich Girl Revealing How She Affords NYC Life Will Make You Rage

Headline that reads, "Man Sues McDonald's for Still Being Depressed After Eating Happy Meal"

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Headline that reads, "NC man arrested for stealing five pounds of baby powder from CVS" above a mugshot of a guy covered in baby powder

Can't Be Too Sure About That

A whole bunch of headlines blaming Millennials for killing various industries

Millennials: The Generation Killing Stuff Since 1980

Headline that reads, "Kanye Scores 106 Points Against Wheelchair Basketball Team"

You Know Kanye Had To Do It To 'Em

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Onion headline that reads, "Man Hoping People Notice How Many Folding Chairs He's Carrying at Once"

'Don't Mind Me Over Here!'

Headline that reads, "Don't kill that spider in your house. It's unlikely to bite you and is good for the environment" under the caption, "Did a spider write this"

Seems Like A Setup...

Headline that reads, "Man on LSD Saves Dog from Imaginary Fire"

He Tried And That's All That Matters

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Onion headline that reads, "Man Forced to Come Up with 45 Seconds of Facial Expressions While Waitress Lists Off Specials"

Look, We Both Know I'm Gonna Get The Same Thing I Always Get

Sarcastic headline that reads, "Man Spends Whole Day Dreading Fun Activity He Signed Up For"

Introvert Probs

Headline that reads, "Kylie Jenner set to be the youngest-ever self-made billionaire" over a picture of Mike Meyers using air quotes

This Is The Onion...Right?

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Employee trains her replacement for 3 months, replacement constantly asks her questions 6 months into the job: 'My old boss has also told me multiple times that he wishes I was still there.'

Employee trains her replacement for 3 months, replacement constantly asks her questions 6 months into the job: 'My old boss has also told me multiple times that he wishes I was still there.'

Employee finds out their company is hiring their exact position at $18k higher than their current salary: 'We can't adjust everyones salary every time we post a new position'

Employee finds out their company is hiring their exact position at $18k higher than their current salary: 'We can't adjust everyones salary every time we post a new position'

Curler refuses to cancel his curling competition to attend his niece's baptism: 'I paid about $200 to participate and my team would be short a player if I didn't show up.'

Curler refuses to cancel his curling competition to attend his niece's baptism: 'I paid about $200 to participate and my team would be short a player if I didn't show up.'

Boss tells employee to 'stick to his job description' then complains they're not doing extra work: 'I'm about to reply with a screenshot of the "core responsibilities" section of my contract'

Boss tells employee to 'stick to his job description' then complains they're not doing extra work: 'I'm about to reply with a screenshot of the "core responsibilities" section of my contract'

‘You’re doing the best you can mom and dad!': Parenting laughs and woes for witty mothers and fathers (February 7, 2026)

‘You’re doing the best you can mom and dad!': Parenting laughs and woes for witty mothers and fathers (February 7, 2026)

Employee gets a $300K job offer, considers not taking it because he'd have to move away from his fiancée, who's in school: '3 years of long distance feels like a lot.'

Employee gets a $300K job offer, considers not taking it because he'd have to move away from his fiancée, who's in school: '3 years of long distance feels like a lot.'

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