ridiculous headlines

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Spoiled Rich Girl Revealing How She Affords NYC Life Will Make You Rage

Headline that reads, "Man Sues McDonald's for Still Being Depressed After Eating Happy Meal"

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Headline that reads, "NC man arrested for stealing five pounds of baby powder from CVS" above a mugshot of a guy covered in baby powder

Can't Be Too Sure About That

A whole bunch of headlines blaming Millennials for killing various industries

Millennials: The Generation Killing Stuff Since 1980

Headline that reads, "Kanye Scores 106 Points Against Wheelchair Basketball Team"

You Know Kanye Had To Do It To 'Em

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Onion headline that reads, "Man Hoping People Notice How Many Folding Chairs He's Carrying at Once"

'Don't Mind Me Over Here!'

Headline that reads, "Don't kill that spider in your house. It's unlikely to bite you and is good for the environment" under the caption, "Did a spider write this"

Seems Like A Setup...

Headline that reads, "Man on LSD Saves Dog from Imaginary Fire"

He Tried And That's All That Matters

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Onion headline that reads, "Man Forced to Come Up with 45 Seconds of Facial Expressions While Waitress Lists Off Specials"

Look, We Both Know I'm Gonna Get The Same Thing I Always Get

Sarcastic headline that reads, "Man Spends Whole Day Dreading Fun Activity He Signed Up For"

Introvert Probs

Headline that reads, "Kylie Jenner set to be the youngest-ever self-made billionaire" over a picture of Mike Meyers using air quotes

This Is The Onion...Right?

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Every time employee takes a PTO day they still end up 40 hours/week to cover it, nullifying the PTO: 'I should've worked 24 hours but I worked double that'

Every time employee takes a PTO day they still end up 40 hours/week to cover it, nullifying the PTO: 'I should've worked 24 hours but I worked double that'

Job rescinds their offer to prospective employee after they inquired about time off: 'Your request for planned time off raised concerns regarding alignment with our current expectations'

Job rescinds their offer to prospective employee after they inquired about time off: 'Your request for planned time off raised concerns regarding alignment with our current expectations'

50-year-old father expects his four adult children to help him raise a newborn baby, whom he intends to gain custody of: ‘We all have our own lives going on’

50-year-old father expects his four adult children to help him raise a newborn baby, whom he intends to gain custody of: ‘We all have our own lives going on’

Roommates move out of apartment, receive invoice for $10k of renovations 3 months later: 'I don't believe we are responsible'

Roommates move out of apartment, receive invoice for $10k of renovations 3 months later: 'I don't believe we are responsible'

Employee expects promotion with performance review, upper management randomly select him as needing improvement: 'I have had an amazing year'

Employee expects promotion with performance review, upper management randomly select him as needing improvement: 'I have had an amazing year'

Employee leaves corporate job to accept dream startup role, wants to leave after 3 months: 'I feel like I'm wasting time'

Employee leaves corporate job to accept dream startup role, wants to leave after 3 months: 'I feel like I'm wasting time'

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