Malicious compliance at its best

I'm so glad I'm not in school anymore and no longer have to be the “buffer student.” Almost every former girl child knows what it's like to be the “buffer student." When teachers have “problem kids” in their class, they often seat them next to quiet and well-behaved kids (mostly girls) to attempt to mitigate the problem (or buffer it). Teachers think that well-behaved kids will rub off on the rowdy ones, but usually, it results in well-behaved kids becoming miserable. I always seemed to end up…

Everything's much more annoying

Millennials are killing the normal name industry, or at least so it seems. The weird names young parents give their kids have become bonafide memes at this point. I don't know if we'll ever get to a point where McKinsleigh will be considered a normal name by the majority of the population. At the same time, we felt the same way about the name Britney, and nobody bats an eye at that anymore. My favorite millennial naming convention is giving your baby an old lady's name. I know two babies named…

Everyone loves a good prank.

The funny thing about twins is that they share the same birthday. It's kind of a defining characteristic of being a twin. If you know one twin's birthday, it's nearly impossible to forget the other's. Which is exactly why u/_somethingorrather was extremely confused when he got invited to attend his twin brother's surprise birthday party. On top of that, they both share the same friend group, which makes it way weirder. OP wasn't the only confused one—close friends of the twins were baffled as t…

Fellas, is it gay to love your wife?

There are a lot of things you have to gauge about a person on a date when you're meeting them for the first time. First of all, are they a murderer? This is a surprisingly difficult question from vibes alone, so in the meantime, you can move on to other important questions. “Am I attracted to them?” “Do we have anything in common?” “Does speaking to them make me want to gauge my eyes out with a metal spoon?” These are classic first-date reflection questions we all have asked ourselves at some p…

*Surprised Pikachu face*

Why can't he...nevermind

I have the type of anxiety that makes me worried that I peaked in high school , even though I know I had a horrible time. My high school years had some positive moments, but my life got exponentially better once I graduated and moved far away from anyone I knew. There are some moments from high school I still think about, like my Senior prom , which was almost Carrie -esque in how traumatic it was, but that's a story for another day. Five years out from high school, I'm sitting pretty, knowing…

He got exactly what he asked for

'Tofu for me is just an ingredient'

Perfect attendance awards in school are a very tricky beast. There were definitely years in school where I never missed a day, and I was encouraged by my family and teachers to be proud of that. However, I didn't have perfect attendance in 2nd grade because I was particularly special or gifted. I only had perfect attendance because I was lucky. I didn't get sick, and no external factors kept me from school for those days. I accomplished nothing substantial, and yet I got praised for it. Concept…

At least they dodged a bullet

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