I've met a lot of people in my life who have scoffed at restaurant workers and bartenders . “Get a real job," they say, with contempt. The reality is, however, that restaurant and bartending work are often more stressful and physical than what any average desk jockey is up against during their nine-to-five gigs. Sure, in both cases, people can enjoy some free coffee and banter but the act of dealing with e ntitled customers , complicated orders, and an unorthodox work schedule are not for the f…

Brrrr! Baby, it's cold outside. And we don't want to do anything. It's true that there are definitely some winter enjoyers out there, doin' their winter things. Emmy from Memebase just went ice skating in Central Park on an evening that boasted temperatures well below freezing. I know people who will go on bar or food crawls in a January chill. Then there are the true psychos, who do the whole Polar Bear swim on January first. While I cautiously respect and fear these people, I just can't join…

Tuck yourself in

Not to be corny, but I have an incredibly corny story about a high school teacher who always told us to “dominate the day.” He was my world history teacher and a football coach, usually a red flag. If you've never been to a school with incompetent coach teachers who were unnecessarily cruel to unathletic children, I'm guessing you're not from the South. This guy was not like that at all, and was really kind to all of the students. He was a super funny guy. I don't know of any other teacher that…

Tumblr might seem like an outdated platform to the millennials who abandoned their blogs several years ago, but Tumblr still exists and it's thriving (even without your highly aesthetic sea foam-tinged vaporwave gifs). If you know where to look, there's plenty of gold to be mined from the depths of Tumblr . We've rounded up some of the best posts, funny comments, and shower thoughts for anyone who can't be bothered opening the site.

Seasoning

Take 'em

Nobody wants to be nervous all the time. Nothing is more fraught than feeling uneasy in every one of your social relationships. Anxiety might be a fairly common affliction, but that does not make it suck any less. If it gets bad enough, you might become a woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown . I haven't seen that movie, but if I had to guess, I'd guess the titular woman suffers from anxiety. For me, the best ways to fight anxiety have been with meds and therapy, simple as that. In therapy,…

Back at it

A little bit of spice

Listen, mister; these memes are good little memes . I promise they won't bother you at all. If you ask each of these memes the same questions in different rooms, they will all give you the same answer. That's how good these young whippersnappers are. These memes have never gotten into trouble before! If you leave them alone, I'll go home and give them a good talking to, you'll see. Please don't search the meme shed. I promise, there's nothing in there! Take it from me, an old geezer. I know whe…

They're still wet

If there's one thing health and fitness people will do, it's talk about gut health. I understand that it's important for your large and small intestines to function regularly, but I wish there were other ways to talk about it. Something about the word “gut” rubs me the wrong way. It hits my ear the same way “moist” does for so many others. I know it's supposed to be a sanitised way to describe your bowel movements, but I feel like

No bits

Intelligence is fluid, and baby, my brain is extremely dry right now. I find it extremely funny when adults go around touting their high IQ scores from tests they took as prepubescent boy geniuses. I honestly believe there is no such thing as static, unchanging intellect. Being smart is something that you work at every day for your entire life, and as my Lyft driver from last Thursday said, “if you don't use it, you lose it.” The constant

I was never a person of the horse girl experience. That might come as a surprise because I grew up in Texas and everybody know that kids in Texas ride horses and cattle to school. But alas, I could never muster the earnestness and sensitivity that lives inside the heart of every horse girl. Horse girls are a social category that extends through the generations. Every one of us, no matter our age, definitely went to elementary school with a girl who loved horses and could not properly socialize…