pr0n

Who wouldn't want Glandolf as a mentor?

Don't worry, this is the safe for work version. Several months ago, a fella hopped on 4chan claiming to be a director/writer for Brazzers asking for memes to include in a scene. Weirdly enough, he was telling the truth.

Looking at you, Nebraska, Arkansas, Tennessee, and Vermont.

Pornhub released this map of the most searched adult entertainment terms on their website, and it seems like most of America has a thing for girl on girl. Meanwhile, the most viewed category map gets even less diverse:

Land of the free, home of the predictable faptime searches.

Lick this pussy!

Look, I'm just going to say it: VirtuaDolls is a VR game controller that you can stick your schlong in. It comes with all kinds of nifty features like synchronized movement, vacuum suction, and pressure sensors to give you the best feel.

It also comes with a real game you can play that lets you rescue babes from monsters before you get down to business, if you like a little plot with your fap (side note: is it still fapping if a machine is doing the work?). 

The VirtuaDolls IndieGoGo campaign has a $20,000 goal, which has already been 34% funded in 5 days. You still have loads of time to jump on this train, but beware: some of the reward packages are already sold out. Stretch goals for the campaign aim to bring the experience to iOS and Android, so don't feel put off if you don't own an Oculus Rift. Oh hey, and ladies? If this campaign/product is successful, the company plans to move on to making a similar experience for you.

What a time to be alive.

Starting between 4 and 5 am on November 10th, Pornhub saw a 10% dip in traffic among gamers that lasted until around 3 pm. It dipped again sharply from 6 pm - 9 pm, when things shot back up to normal. Put simply, we were all to busy playing Fallout 4 to whip out our other joysticks. Pornhub VP Corey Price isn't mad about it though. He told VentureBeat that "as huge fans of the game, we can’t say we blame anyone for swapping Pornhub time for some Pip-Boy surfing instead. We would have done the same."

Put those tissues away, we've got a wasteland to explore!

MINAMI TANAKA giving new meaning to foodpr0n