As I write these words, a tremendous amount of shame is filling my body. You see, my aloe hasn't been watered in a very long time. Furthermore, I doubt that it has received much sunlight. It's on top of my dresser, hidden from the sun's rays because my cat thinks aloe is a delicious snack. This poor crispy, crunchy, parched plant was a gift from another Memebase editor, and I'm really not doing it justice. This is why I can't have nice things - plants in particular. Never will my apartment be o…