Parenting Facebook groups have obsessions with the many "natural remedies" they think will cure all childhood ailments. My favorite supposed cure-all miracle is breastmilk. For some reason, crunchy moms think that breastmilk can do anything. I will give credit where credit is due: breastmilk offers babies essential nutrients they can't get anywhere else. Unfortunately, breast milk does not cure ear infections. You cannot squirt breastmilk in a blind man's eye and make him see again. Breastmilk…

Stephen Sondheim said the following in his Pulitzer Prize winning musical Sunday in the Park with George. “There are only two worthwhile things to leave behind when you depart this world of ours: children and art.” Of course, this is not an objective fact. You could argue that there are many worthwhile things you leave behind when you die that go beyond those two rigid categories.

The golden age of parents on Twitter lying about the esoteric things their young children say has long passed us. Back in the ancient years of 2016 and 2017, parents were obsessed with tweeting things like, "My 3-year-old son came just up to me and said 'Papa, I have a childlike solution to great economic and social problems that will go viral instantly through the retweets of easily fooled rubes.'" Unfortunately for these parents, a lot of Twitter users have caught on to these unbelievably cor…

Parents embarrass their kids all the time. It's a natural part of the parent-child relationship , and it's often completely unavoidable. Once a child becomes a tween, they can't stand to be seen with their parents in public. Tweens want their parents to drop them off at the mall far out of the view of any other tweens, because having a mom is apparently extremely embarrassing. Tweens and teens don't want their parents to take pictures of them, be seen in public with them, or generally be around…

Not the best parenting strategy

Why do so many young parents want their kids to have unique names ? Do they know that having a unique name doesn't make them a unique person? I'm lucky enough to have a name unique enough that I never have to go by my last initial but normal enough that I've never been bullied for my name. That is the ideal sweet spot for names IMHO. Sometimes, your kid gets bullied for their name because of things out of your control. I would never begrudge somebody naming their daughter Isis or Katrina before…

These people are nuts

I can't imagine how difficult it must be to date as a blind person . I'm sure every hack has a hot take about who would date a blind person, and they're all pretty insulting. "This guy is so ugly; he could only pull a blind chick!" "Good thing he can't see her because if he could, he'd be in for a rude awakening." News flash: blind people are not clueless about the nuances of attractiveness just because they do not experience sight the same way sighted people do. Blindness does not make people…

For a childless person, I sure spend a lot more time in the enclaves of the parenting side of social media than I probably should. Twitter, TikTok, and Facebook: all of these places have proved to me that parenting is no walk in the park and that it truly takes over a person's life. I don't not want to be a mom because I don't like kids or anything: I don't want to be a mom right now because I don't want to start unknowingly and constantly post cringe parenting content for all of the world to s…

Happy New Year, Parents! I hope all parents reading this have had a great 2023 so far. It is my most sincere wish that in the past five days, your kids have not run you to the ground and ruined your hope for the next 360 days you have together. I know this wish is a tad unrealistic, but a girl can dream! The good thing about this time of the year is that kids are finally returning to school. The two weeks of holiday preparation, constant cleaning, and providing around-the-clock entertainment fo…

Mother & father of the year

As far as I can remember, I was a pretty easy kid to parent. All I wanted to do was to do good by the adults in my life, which, shockingly, doesn't make me the most rebellious kid. There are always exceptions to the “easy child” rule, and mine was during Christmastime of my 4th-grade year. I was hearing some rumblings at school about the realness of certain Christmas icons. I felt so angry at these rumors that I went to my dad several times and said, “everyone at school says Santa isn't real, b…

So evil

The golden age of parents on Twitter lying about the esoteric things their young children say has long passed us. Back in the ancient time of 2016, parents were obsessed with tweeting things like, "My son came up to me and said ‘Papa, I have a childlike solution to great economic and social problems that will be incredibly easy to go viral through the retweets of easy to trick rubes.’"

Watching parents spill details about their kids on social media can make you feel a lot better about your family life. I saw a TikTok this morning where a mom openly admitted she took her able-bodied child on a family vacations without her disabled son. Like, how are you not embarrassed? Why are you openly admitting this horrible thing you did on social media without shame? Parents can share the most alarming things to complete, and if you question it at all, you get accused of “mom shaming.” L…

Under the table she went