“Which animal am I” is one of those questions you usually don't want to know the answer to. Either you get an adorable animal like a cat, or you get one that truly makes you confront your reality as a human being. When I was growing up and this question came up, everyone would always say that I was a giraffe. This was not a particularly shocking answer, seeing as I was at least 5'9 by the time I was 12 years old. However, it did get old after a while that people were only seeing me for my tall…

Play Frogger all night long

In New York City, rats are the kings of the vermin world . They run rampant on the streets, in train stations, and, if you're an unlucky renter, in your apartment. I see a rat scamper across the street more often than not when I'm coming home when it's dark out. They know how much power they have, and they're not afraid to show it. In other areas of the U.S., rats are a much rarer sight. This is true even in other cities; New York is kind of the only one that has a substantial rat population. I…

Getting together with your family for a vacation can be extremely stressful. There's travel to worry about and food to make, but most crucially, there's the pressure and desire for everybody to get along. Some of us come from bloodlines that get into screaming matches over having to wait in line for Space Mountain for 20 minutes too long. Others might be the product of a passive-aggressive lineage where your aunt implies a lot of shady stuff about you while walking down the Champs-Élysées. One…

As human beings, we tend to project human emotions and attitudes onto animals. This concept is called anthropomorphism, and even though it's not scientifically sound, it's still fun to do. In my anthropomorphic opinion , cats embody a laissez-faire attitude, appearing to be unamused and uninterested in the antics of people. Dogs are the opposite. They are spunky and extroverted and want to be all up in everybody's business. Possums embody something that everyone has within them, no matter their…

As human beings, we tend to project human emotions and attitudes onto animals. This concept is called anthropomorphism , and even though it's not scientifically sound, it's still fun to do. In my anthropomorphic opinion, cats embody a laissez-faire attitude, appearing to be unamused and uninterested in the antics of people. Dogs are kind of the opposite. They are spunky and extroverted and want to be all up in everybody's business. Possums embody something that everyone has within them, no matt…

Frogs and Cranberries? It must be fall. Much like Mariah Carrey's All I Want For Christmas is You on the Billboard Top 100 Chart, this meme comes crawling back to us seasonally, and we can't get enough of it. But why? On a fundamental level, "Frogs and cranberries it must be fall" is just plain funny. Why must it be fall when these two collide, we non-frog experts ask. What about this amphibian and this fruit coming together marks the period between September 22nd and December 20th? The meme or…

When I was younger, I wondered if possums were Irish immigrants, dropping the "O" in opossum to Americanize their names. Unfortunately, that astute theory was untrue, as opossums originate in North America. Drat! Possums are not considered great pets; you don't need an animal scientist to figure it out. The best way to determine if an animal is suited to be a pet is to watch how your mom reacts to seeing one while driving in the car. Dog? Oh yeah, for sure, a pet. Horse? You better believe that…

Some people may not understand the phenomenon of possum memes . The large, greyish marsupials look something like big and ugly rats (sorry guys), and have an affinity for garbage . They don't move very quickly and have very poor eyesight, so graceful is the last thing we'd use to describe them. Nonetheless, the critters have become something of a meme legend, almost rivaling their arguably cuter trash cousins, raccoons . Possum (opossum if you're nasty) memes are often self-deprecating. You kno…

You'd think it would be hard to find someone who doesn't enjoy animal memes . First of all, animals are better than humans. They just are. Second of all, most of them are pretty cute or, at the very least, cool. Like snakes and shit. Or whales and sharks. But there are some people (I'm not naming any names) who think animal memes are too fluffy. Too happy. Too sweet. Sure, some of them describe relatable plights like, uh, being tired, or feeling stupid. But for the most part, animal memes are l…

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Sounds nice enough.

Nothing but love.

We stan.