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airplanes fire Mitt Romney open science windows - 6610816256
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Ann Romney was in a plane that had to make an emergency landing on Friday because of an electrical malfunction. Fortunately, the plane landed safely and Ann is alright. Mitt Romney was understandably worried, but when describing the incident later, he had this to say:

"When you have a fire in an aircraft, there's no place to go, exactly, there's no — and you can't find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don't open. I don't know why they don't do that. It's a real problem. So it's very dangerous."

Yes. It is very dangerous. Almost as dangerous as depressurizing an airplane cabin and feeding a fire with more oxygen. But you know, science is hard.

cabinet digital double meaning file IRL literalism open - 6383933952
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Back in my day, we just used the damn handle! #CurmudgeonMattyIsCurmudgeonly - Matty Malaprop

avocado double meaning fruit Hall of Fame literalism mosh pit open pit statement - 5877830912
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The Tumblr I first saw this posted on made some stupid comment about dubstep in relation to the above statement. NEWS FLASH: MOSH PITS EXISTED BEFORE DUBSTEP IF YOU WEREN'T ALREADY AWARE, TUMBLR KIDS. - Matty Malaprop

double meaning literalism microphone microphones open open mic - 5596972544
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Closed mics are tragic things, really. All of their jokes are inside jokes, and they're always told in muffled tones. - Matty Malaprop