oh god why

If you're looking to lose weight and curb your appetite, boy do we have the Twitter thread for you! User @kyry5 shared his weird habit of buttering pop tarts late last week, and asked his followers to share their bizarro food rituals. He, and we, got way more than he bargained for. 

Oh, the humanity! We spend hours and hours trawling the deep corners of the web for fun stuff for you all to gaze upon. Every now and then, however, we come across pics or videos that make us wonder why we bother with this "life" thing at all. Here's some of the content that makes us wish the asteroid would hurry the f*ck up. 

In case you're a person who's ever (for some reason) longed for the values and morals of the 1950s, just take a scroll through this Tumblr thread about some of the disturbing monstrosities that people used to call "food."

You're welcome!

Redditors are sharing their effed-up thoughts that'll make you want to cleanse your brain.

Having grown up with a last name that is often mocked for having components of phallic innuendo, I can relate to these poor souls a little bit. Like I can't even imagine what kind of verbal abuse they went through growing up. 

I like to imagine each of them lead lives similar to the Boy Named Sue.