octopus
Drop into an Octopus's garden in the shade. Though it might take ten tickles to make an octopus laugh, you'll have a much easier time with these cephalopod puns and jokes.
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18-year-old homeschool graduate can't sound out words or do basic addition: 'She couldn't calculate 50% of $30. She couldn't count to 30 at her fast-food job.'
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Man's brother visits his home for Labor Day and brings his new wife and 9-year-old stepson, who disrespects him the entire visit and throws tantrums when he doesn't get his way: ‘As guests, there is a level of conduct and respect they need to follow’
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Dad scolds aunt for buying her 12-year-old niece 2 pairs of glasses and contact lenses because he can't afford them for her or his 4 stepchildren: 'He’s sick of me and Haley rubbing her stuff in her step-siblings' faces.'
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Dad refuses to uproot his kids' lives and move to a different state after his wife decides to move closer to her own kids, forcing her to divorce: ‘I would rather our marriage end than move’
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Labor Day weekend campers arrive to find their pre-booked prime site occupied, and have to get a ranger involved to force a move: ‘Shoulda booked earlier, my friends’
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