nachos

If you've been on Twitter at all in the past 24 hours, you've probably seen that Prego is trending. No, the pathetic excuse for a pasta sauce has not been abolished from grocery store shelves. Instead, the gullible people of the internet are expressing their shock and horror at yet another white person who thinks that smearing food over a shining kitchen island is a "hack." 

Obviously the video above from "Josh and Lisa" is disturbing. It's even more disturbing with sound as its participants pretend this is a serious party trick. The dry noodles. The premade...everything. The counter. It's enough to send Gordon Ramsay into a coma. Also disturbing is the fact that people are completely eating this charade up. Which is more than we can say for that pasta. 

If a person with deductive reasoning (hello) does even a little bit of digging, it becomes obvious that this video - and many like it - are the brainchild of attention-hungry influencers who film "pranks" with clickbaity titles. The same goes for that nacho hack that horrified us around the Super Bowl. Following repeated viewings of that scarring video, we realized its creator, Taylor Watson, had included the controversial clip in a folder called "Pranks!" 

Josh and Lisa's videos look eerily similar to Taylor's. They even filmed a "nacho hack" of their own. It's got to be the most pathetic plagiarism we've seen in our lives. Many of their earlier "works" include a pretty damning disclaimer:

Thanks so much for watching this video! I do hope you enjoy it. Please note that this page features scripted dramas,PARODY HACKS, parody and satire. The events that take place in this particular short-film video are for entertainment purposes only. 

It's safe to say that this Prego-laced abomination belongs in that category. While some people may say it's all in good fun, we had a feeling these milquetoast "creators" knew exactly what they were doing. And according to a piece from Eater - we were right. It turns out that all of these despicable shows of "cooking" from polished Facebook personalities lead back to Rick Lax, a Facebook-famous magician with a penchant for using gross concepts to create viral videos. He and his network know they can capitalize on the trope that white people can't cook. And they will continue to do so as long as the views come pouring in. Do they want clout? Do they want engagement so they can start shilling light projectors like viral Twitter users? Or are they in it for fun, as Lax claims? We're not really sure, but it's really time that we stop feeding into their food-wasting, unfunny bullshit. 

Edited 1:29 pm to include the revelation of Rick Lax's involvement.

It has been two days since the Tampa Bay Buccaneers crushed the Kansas City Chiefs in Super Bowl LV. People have quieted down about The Weeknd's incredibly memeable halftime performance. Hopefully, all the buffalo wing sauce has exited your bowels quickly and painlessly. You'd think the Sunday Funday would be a distant memory. But, alas. The internet is still reeling from one influencer's mindboggling attempt at a "nacho hack," a scarring and arguably revolting gift that was meant to help people who are apparently struggling to serve the decadent food that is prevalent during the "Big Game."

On the same day as the Super Bowl, Facebook user Adley uploaded a video of an unknown woman showing viewers how to hack their own nachos. This is not something new for Adley's page - it's absolutely littered with clickbaity pranks and unnecessary products. But when this brunette opened a gigantic can of Velveeta and proceeded to pour it onto her pristine kitchen island, all bets were off.

After spreading the garishly orange cheese product around with her bare hands, our mystery woman adds the following: obviously cold beef, a can of black beans, wilted bagged lettuce, a container of sour cream, "guacamole," pickled jalapenos, and cold shredded cheese. The whole thing is a mess. You'd think that the display was over here, but you would also be dead wrong. It actually gets worse. 

Following a liberal dusting of packaged taco seasoning, our "chef" proceed to use two putty knives (yes, the ones for spackle) to mix the unholy mix of ingredients into a vomit-esque blob. But what are nachos without the chips? While normally the dish consists of tortilla chips that are sensually layered with sumptuous ingredients, this woman has other plans. She dumps a bag of chips on top of the gross and gooey mass, and again uses her bare hands to crunch and then fold the chips into the cheesy mess. She then uses an ice cream scoop to fill a TORTILLA cone with the "nachos" and takes a hammy bite out of it. 

If you're feeling shook by this "hack" you're definitely not alone. After @PettiBetti shared the cringey display on Twitter, the post quickly went viral. People absolutely love to tear down crimes against food, and this is a pretty heinous crime. While some people decried the "chef's" use of ingredients and the fact that she was serving NACHOS in a CONE, other people seemed to be more triggered by her lack of gloves. Obviously, some people took issue with both. We've put together some of the horrified responses, because they're hilarious. But if you for some reason want to subject yourself to the full dose of insanity, you can do so right here. Just try not to watch while you're eating.  

These memes pair well with a gigantic coffee.