I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret; I am not a parent. Despite this, my friends always tell me that they think I'd be a good mom . What does that say about me? I have no idea. My first theory is that I would be a good mom because I have incredible vibes, and I will pass those good vibes down through my bloodline. Hopefully, my good vibes won't skip a generation! Perhaps I would be one of those strict, no-nonsense parents that can't stop bragging about how their 3-year-old has never…

Such a beautiful name for a girl

Kids might drive you nuts, but at least it makes good meme content!

For a childless person, I sure spend a lot more time in the enclaves of the parenting side of social media than I probably should. Twitter, TikTok, and Facebook: all of these places have proved to me that parenting is no walk in the park and that it truly takes over a person's life. I don't not want to be a mom because I don't like kids or anything: I don't want to be a mom right now because I don't want to start unknowingly and constantly post cringe parenting content for all of the world to s…

Tell me if you've heard this one: "I'm going to have kids early so I can enjoy my 40s and 50s." Or what about this one: "I'm going to wait until I'm 30 to have a kid so I can enjoy my twenties." These lines of reasoning are predicated on the notion that having kids is not enjoyable and is something you want to be relieved of eventually or postpone. I have little qualification to speak on this: I am not a parent, and who knows what the future of parenthood will look like for me. But I hope that…

Why let your bundle of joy drive you nuts when you can just take a quick break with funny relatable parenting memes??

Like many other towns across the country, my hometown had an infamous mommy Facebook group . The group was a running joke at my high school because the mothers involved just didn't know how to behave themselves. They would constantly bicker with each other over everything and nothing at the same time. Popular topics of conversation were politics, religion, how evil doctors were, and their children's behavioral problems. The number of women who would divulge their children's medical history to a…

Little kids are so funny. Based on my highly biased calculations, the average kid is 10x more comical than the average adult. Kids are blessed with the gift of comedy for multiple reasons. For one, they are given the freedom to be silly. Unfortunately for us adults, there are not a lot of opportunities to be goofballs in corporate America. If you're not silly at work, you have less time to be silly at home, which cuts down your daily silliness quota by at least 60%. Kids also aren't yet experts…

When I was a kid, I had to take a bath or a shower every day, a tradition I've continued throughout my life. When you're a kid, you get dirty quickly and must be washed often. As I scroll through parenting TikTok , I get increasingly disgusted with the hot takes about hygiene. The number of moms I've seen online talking about only showering their kids once or twice a month baffles me. Anyone who thinks having their kid run around all stinky is healthy for them is a fool. Some parents don't bath…

Playing with kids is not always the most fun activity for adults. Kids like to play out the same scenarios over and over and over again, and while it's stimulating for them, it's not always the most entertaining experience for the adults playing with them. Despite this, playing with your kids is incredibly important for their development. Playing with your kids or the kids in your life communicates to them that you care about them and their interests. Kids don't want to play forever. In fact, t…

If you've ever been in a “[CITY YOU LIVE IN] Moms Facebook Group” you know that they are some of the wildest places on the internet. They are crazier than Reddit. Some are even crazier than 4Chan. These platforms are cesspools for the most insane opinions regarding child rearing that you'll ever seen. At least 70% of these people don't want to bring their children within 50 feet of a doctors office for their entire lives. They tattle on and bully their neighbors for having the wrong color of di…

Why does putting the kids to bed have to be an Olympic sport every dang time??

To be a parent or to not be a parent. That is the question that so many twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings grapple with, and it's a lot harder to answer than you'd think. Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. Babies sometimes just happen to people, and that's that. But for those with the privilege of family planning, it's all about the timing. Some people want to have kids as soon as possible, and some have to scramble toward the finish line, with the s…

You love being a parent... But sometimes you need to hide in a closet and doom scroll through memes for a few minutes.

If you don't have a list on your phone with potential baby names for your future children, what are you even doing? At press time, I am kind of ambivalent about whether I want to have kids, but so help me God, if I come upon a child, I have the perfect name waiting in the woodwork. Having baby names with no intention of having children is kind of like wanting to get married because you want to throw a party. It's all of the fun with none of the hassle. Anyone who has actually raised a child kno…

Happy Thanksgiving, parents! Today might not be the most leisurely parenting day of the year, but I believe you all will get through it. You're about to enter prime “threatening your kids with Santa” season, and I support you all the way. Nothing will whip a kid into shape better than their fear of the naughty list.