Twenty years ago, parenting books used to be where it was at. Parents who had a million questions about how they should raise their kids didn't go around posting about it on their MySpace pages. They went to Borders, Books A Million, and other now-defunct stores and bought a bunch of books about it! While not all parenting books are written by experts, they're at least a bit more inherently trustworthy than strangers on the internet . When I was a kid, all of the adults in my life told me to be…

For a childless person, I sure spend a lot more time in the enclaves of the parenting side of social media than I probably should. Twitter, TikTok, and Facebook: all of these places have proved to me that parenting is no walk in the park and that it truly takes over a person's life. I don't not want to be a mom because I don't like kids or anything: I don't want to be a mom right now because I don't want to start unknowingly and constantly post cringe parenting content for all of the world to s…

One of the most challenging parts of being a parent is the lack of sleep . Kids wear you down to the point of exhaustion and keep you up at night worrying about them. It's an incredibly unfair catch-22 of the human experience. My poor mother has been unable to sleep since I was born, and I wish I hadn't done that to her. I'm a sprite 23-year-old baby, so naturally, I've never had any problem with sleeping. I just know that if and when I pop a child out of my body, I'm going to stay up all night…

Parents embarrass their kids all the time. It's a natural part of the parent-child relationship , and it's often completely unavoidable. Once a child becomes a tween, they can't stand to be seen with their parents in public. Tweens want their parents to drop them off at the mall far out of the view of any other tweens because having a mom is apparently extremely embarrassing. Tweens and teens don't want their parents to take pictures of them, be seen in public with them, or generally be around…

Like many other towns across the country, my hometown had an infamous mommy Facebook group . The group was a running joke at my high school because the mothers involved just didn't know how to behave themselves. They would constantly bicker with each other over everything and nothing at the same time. Popular topics of conversation were politics, religion, how evil doctors were, and their children's behavioral problems. The number of women who would divulge their children's medical history to a…

It's difficult to keep the magic of the Easter Bunny alive for your kids. Santa is relatively easy because you can meet a man at a shopping mall that will convincingly portray him. The Tooth Fairy is simple: your kid never sees her unless you mess up or they're a super light sleeper. The Easter Bunny is a hard sell because it's unclear what form he takes. Is he a normal rabbit? Is he one of those scary bunnies in fursuits? Is he a horrifying anthropomorphic half-man, half-rabbit that will haunt…

In California, rent would be $2500/month in this place

Best Actress 2024 is a cinch

Stephen Sondheim said the following in his Pulitzer Prize winning musical Sunday in the Park with George. “There are only two worthwhile things to leave behind when you depart this world of ours: children and art.” Of course, this is not an objective fact. You could argue that there are many worthwhile things you leave behind when you die that go beyond those two rigid categories.

I learn new things about parenting by looking at parenting fails. While some aspects of parenting are intuitive, there are about a million things that you need to learn about child-rearing before you actually have a baby. For instance, I was completely ignorant about bed-sharing and safe sleep until I started willingly exposing myself to all of this discourse within mommy Facebook groups . I can't imagine wanting to sleep in the same bed as your baby every night. I move so much in my sleep that…

How does one kill that which has no life?

It's finally March, and you know what that means? Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. Your kids are lying around all d…

Boy moms have been rightfully roasted on social media recently. I'm not talking about just any woman who has solely mothered boys. I'm talking about the Oedipal nightmare of TikToker moms who openly admit they are in love with their sons. I have seen the same variation of "watching your son grow up is like experiencing the longest breakup ever" repeatedly on the stupid clock app. Why are these women telling on themselves like this? Why are so many boy moms in love with their sons? That guy Soph…

We should all know less about each other. This mantra has popped up on Twitter recently, often in response to people sharing graphic personal details online, particularly on TikTok. With the advent of social media, we have become conditioned to share so much of our lives with strangers. We're not just showing the shiny and cool parts of our lives with strangers: we're sharing everything! We post a picture every day because an app told us to “be real.” We share our traumas on TikTok because thos…

It's hard to let the baby bird leave the nest. Many parents struggle to balance being involved in their kids' lives and being overly involved. I understand the struggle! At one point, you had to work day in and day out to ensure this young human survived. Flash forward a few years, and they seem like they don't need you anymore. This transition can be challenging for parents, but it's of the utmost importance that parents give kids, especially their adult kids, space to function without them. T…

Parents love to document every milestone their kid reaches. A child's first steps, first word, and first day of school are all recorded carefully by their mom and dad so they can relive that memory for years to come. However, the most memorable moments of a kid's life usually happen when the cameras aren't around. When I was a kid, I wore my parents down so much one night by asking them endless questions about the biology of conjoined twins. Obviously, they didn't have extensive knowledge of th…