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14 Spicy Headlines From 'The Onion' That Just Speak To Us

We love The Onion because it never fails to relate to us all with its spicy takes.

And just in case you live under a rock, or were planning to show this to your innocent grandma, we gotta give the disclaimer that The Onion is a satirical publication.

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Sen. Mitch McConnell Totally Looks Like Pale Man from "Pan's Labyrinth"

In a new segment I like to call "How to Get This Look," I will share with you the secrets of looking like these two dudes:

Step One: Throw some pizza dough up in the air LIKE A BOSS.
Step Two: Allow the pizza dough to land on your face LIKE A BOSS. Step Three: You now look like both Senator Mitch McConnell and Pale Man!!!

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Recaption

If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis. (Mitch McConnell)