Memes for the gifted and talented!

Having a sense of humor is an invaluable quality. You don't have to be a brilliant standup comedian to know that! Comedy is highly beneficial if you're weak in other social skills. How many times have you heard the story of the class clown who was able to gain the respect of their fellow students through their sense of humor? I was 100% that kid when I was in high school. I took this John Waters quote extremely literally when I was a teen, and in some ways, I still do! "Anytime you make someone…

Prime.

I wish I could be one of those people who could raw dog vision. By that, I mean the second you open your eyes, you can see the world without assistance from glasses or contacts . If you're a diva of the 20/20 vision experience, consider me officially jealous of you. I've worn contacts for 10 years now, and sometimes I have the creeping inner thought that I should just go and get my eyes zapped. The fact that there are lasers that can easily make your vision good in one foul swoop is so insanely…

I stand in solidarity with the wine mom community . During the pandemic, I was close to becoming one myself. From January to April of 2021, I would go to my local corner store every Friday and buy a bottle of strawberry-flavored Barefoot wine. If that sounds like trashy college kid wine, you would be 100% correct. At the time, I thought buying screw-cap wine was so mature as opposed to one of those giant cans of peach-flavored Mikes Hard Lemonades. I usually wouldn't consume the whole bottle in…

We've got a fresh hot list of memes for one Mr. Randy Om? Is there a Rand Om in the room? Randolph Om, are you present? Thank you, I'll be here all week. Coming up with clever and funny pun names is one of the few instances where I find the art of punning vaguely tolerable. My friends and I keep a list of different pun names we think of. They range from incredible to abominable: Collin Response, Jaqueline Turn, Miss Taken Identity, Patty O'Furniture, Heather Interior, and Cathy Lick. The list g…

Delightful!

Fooled ya!

“Does this spark joy?” is such a weird interior design philosophy. My little rack that holds literally every piece of clothing I own does not spark joy, but what am I supposed to do about it?

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That's MY Best Picture winner!

Hiding in the bathroom when you don't want to be somewhere is a time-honored tradition. I've done it my whole life; I'm not afraid to smell a little dookie to get me out of math class for five minutes. That is a price I'm willing to pay. Hiding in the bathroom improved in high school because that's when vapes got popular. Instead of the bathroom smelling like a bathroom, it was filled with an array of tropical fruit flavors . The teen vapers made my bathroom experience much brighter than any Fe…

Zzzzzz

Chicken soup for the posters soul

I'm a Goofy Goober , yeah! You're a Goofy Goober, yeah! We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah! Goofy goofy, goober goober, yeah! If you've never wanted to go to the Nut Bar from The Spongebob Squarepants Movie and get yourself one of those sundaes with faces, I don't get you. That iconic 2004 movie was the perfect case study for why being a goofy goober is better than being a Squidward. Goofy gooberism was the force that allowed Spongebob and Patrick to ultimately defeat Plankton and his mind-controlli…

Spoiler alert: it's not right now. For the past couple of years, we've felt like the end of the world as we know it was always right around the corner. Things kept getting worse, and not to sound too optimistic, but things have generally been improving since 2020. I really don't think we can or will have a worse year than that anytime soon. Even though the end times aren't right now, I have to wonder when it will be. And, more importantly, will we have memes? During the little moment we had in…