Not cool, bride

Twitter had many thoughts

no but seriously, is butter a carb?

Every day in NYC, I am afraid that someone with 17K Twitter followers will take a picture of me on the subway, say I look lame, and get 100K likes. This is not an unfounded fear in the slightest because it literally happens all the time. Adult bullies who need to put others down to feel superior will record strangers minding their own business in public and ridicule them so that they can get a couple of measly likes on an app run by a tyrant. What a world we're living in on the place formerly k…

If they don't get your 'Mean Girls' quote, they're too young for you.

I have the type of anxiety that makes me worried that I peaked in high school , even though I know I had a horrible time. My high school years had some positive moments, but my life got exponentially better once I graduated and moved far away from anyone I knew. There are some moments from high school I still think about, like my Senior prom , which was almost Carrie -esque in how traumatic it was, but that's a story for another day. Five years out from high school, I'm sitting pretty, knowing…

Did you know that Opposite Day isn't a national holiday or even an unofficial holiday? That is an outrage. Silly little holidays are happening daily without fail, so why can't a day devoted to switcharoos get the 24 hours it deserves? My birthday is World Rabies Day , and that's a much lamer of holiday than Opposite Day could ever be. According to Wikipedia, it's a game played by children with no actual calendar date. If Opposite Day were real, then we adults wouldn't have to go to work that da…

Is there any teen comedy more influential than Mean Girls ? This movie came out in 2004, and we are still celebrating it to this day. Mean Girls is timeless, and it seems to understand what it's like to be a teenager far better than most movies of any era. The quotability of the movie sends it over the edge from simply iconic to full-blown legendary status. You go, Glenn Coco; Stop trying to make fetch happen; That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets; I'm a mouse, duh; Get in, loser,…

There is no teen comedy more beloved than Tina Fey's Mean Girls . The 80s had Heathers , the 90s had Clueless , and the 2010s had uhhhh Booksmart ? Edge of Seventeen ??? The downturn of good teen comedies in the 2010s proves that Mean Girls reigns supreme. It's one of the only movies that timelessly captures the emotional turmoil that teenage girls experience daily, and for that, we will forever be grateful. While some might assume that the titular mean girls refer to the plastics, there are so…

Not a single Limited Too t-shirt in sight…

Are you tired? Do you want to go back to bed? Are you a sleepy baby who doesn't want to go to your pathetic little job? Well, you don't have to! After all, you're a baby, with no responsibilities or bills or cleaning or anything to do except for consuming media. In fact, it looks like you're on the fast track to becoming an iPad baby. Do you know what an iPad baby is, you ignorant infant? An iPad baby is a gross toddler who can't look away from their filth-encrusted tablet for one second, even…