mariah carey

WTF DO YOU MEAN DOES MY SKIN SPARKLE? do I look like Mariah Carey B*tch?

We've known for a bit that iconic singer Mariah Carey would be the new spokeswoman for free-to-play mobile game Game of War: Fire Age.

Well, TMZ got ahold of the commercial and now you can see medieval warriors call in help via smartphone, hear about a 'hero coming along' a few times and try to catch a few seconds of Mariah wielding a flaming crossbow.

Oof.

Of course, the multi-platinum singer is taking over for Kate Upton. You know you know her. Here's another look at her 2015 Super Bowl commercial if you need/would like a reminder.

We're not sure if this game is any good. All the b00bs they throw at us hasn't left us wanting to actually try it. Someone must be, we can't imagine these ladies consider their time to be cheap.

Have you played this celebrity-led, silly-looking game?

All I want for Christmas is to have never heard this.

It's a well-known fact: "All I Want for Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey is the best Christmas song of the past 20 years. Now, thanks to Ed Bassmaster, you'll wish it wasn't...

A holiday lip sync from the brave men (and a few women) aboard the HMS Ocean!

DOES ANYONE HAVE A GUN I COULD BORROW?