The finishing touch

Sometimes this fleeting existence feels kind of pointless. You know, “life's a b*tch and then you die” type vibes. It really does feel as though this is meant to be a struggle, living tiny paycheck to tiny paycheck, while some person who says "yes" or "no" lives lavishly and luxuriously thanks to our hard work. While we try not to think of the sad reality in our day to day lives, it has become increasingly hard to ignore. But when the going gets tough, and reality begins crushing our poor, sad,…

(Probably)

We're all well aware that the Twitter hellscape has a lot to offer in the comedy department. Funny writers and aspiring humorists manage to craft short and sweet tweets packed with a whole lot of cleverness and publish them freely for netizens to enjoy. There's just one tiny problem: there is a whole lot of unpleasantry and even vitriol on the site as well. Political arguments, bad takes , and relentless trolls are ever-present. To save you from all that grossness and aggression, we've collecte…

Halloween is almost upon us, and as a thirty-something with low energy, I'm not as excited as I used to be. In the days of yore, I would get together with friends and start planning our costumes months in advance, down to our footwear. Whether or not we ended up looking good was another story, but my god - we were enthusiastic, and we were prepared. These days I'm left trying to find a two-hour window to fetch some facial hair from Spirit Halloween , and struggling to do so. It's a rough life.…

Have you ever felt like a plastic bag or a meme?

Don't stress—your kids will still love you even after you secretly throw away some of their art.

It's not a phase

Take a dose

Cringetopia

The tarantula is my new sleep paralysis demon

With the Lord of the Rings: the Rings of Power first season gone, and since the House of the Dragon finale on Sunday, our roster of fantasy-related entertainment has taken a pretty major hit. What the hell am I supposed to watch now? Supernatural ? Fat chance. I need my fantasy shows to be high-budget and high violence. And when I can't get to enjoy either of the above, I guess it's down to one thing: memes. Memes help to fill the void left by my favorite TV shows and comfort watches (the origi…

Happy Tuesday, internet addicts! Another beautiful day on the internet, on planet Earth. Just kidding. It's a dreary day here in Brooklyn , and everything kinda feels shitty. Maybe it's the descent into the gross part of fall weather (Scorpio season, anyone?), or maybe it's the seasonal depression setting in. Whatever the case, I'm not feelin' it. This weather just makes me want to curl up with some nice soup, cuddle with my cat, and make hot toddies. Speaking of soup, I made a great one last n…

“You may need therapy yourself” is a line from 1999's Analyze This that has somehow become an inside joke between my friends and I. We put on our best De Niro accent and giggle our way through any vaguely therapy-related conversation. We may be poking fun at the line (uttered by a slightly ashamed mob boss in therapy), but it's probably true no matter who you're talking to. The fact is, nearly everyone I've met could benefit from doing a little supervised work on themselves. Though being a neur…

Happy weekend, friends, enemies, and lovers. If you're seeking some quick and easy entertainment, we would have to recommend ye olde bird app. Twitter , for all its unpleasantry, often acts as a hyper-productive joke factory - one that could probably benefit from many of its users taking a day off or two. While it's true that some of the time the prolific posters churn out some incredibly annoying content (the kind that we try to avoid), it's usually possible to find some clever jokes, hot and…

Being sad is so in right now