Mentally, I'm signing on and off of AIM to get my crush's attention.

When I was a kid I used to sit in my basement and watch the same damn movies over and over again. Pocahontas, Wild America, Independence Day, The Goonies, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy (okay, that's three movies, but I'm counting it as one). It's true that we had the internet , but as far as I was concerned, watching LOTR for the hundredth time was way more appealing than sitting around for several minutes waiting for the dial-up to do its thing so that I could continue downloading "track00…

Pure hilarity

Wake up

So how long do you mentally prepare in order to leave the house and deal with people?... 24 hours? Cool me too.

What will it be

It is Wednesday, my dudes. If you've spent any time on Reddit over the past few years, you're probably familiar with the inside joke, which originated in the r/me_irl subreddit. Frogs, toads, and Redditors aside, Wednesday is supposedly a day worth celebrating. But we don't really see it. Wednesday is a marker, a reminder that there's still half a week left of working - at least, that is, if you're a 9-5 office drone like we are here at Memebase. To celebrate “hump day” is to feed into the syst…

They've got texture

This and that

Droning on

Ok Boomer

Happy Monday, people. And a very happy Lunar New Year to all who celebrate. I, for one, am suffering due to some serious Lunar New Year celebrations . And no, I'm not hungover. I'm weary from eating roughly one thousand dumplings, 400 egg rolls, and many, many clementines. We had shrimp dumplings, pork dumplings, spicy pork dumplings, and wonderfully mushroomy veggie dumplings to top things all off. Every year my friends and I get together for this dumpling fest, and every year I forget about h…

Beyond our wildest dreams

Do you eat to live, or live to eat? Honestly, I'm worried about the people who proudly claim the former. While it's true that we literally eat to live, but it's absolutely bonkers to me that there are people who just don't care about, or flat-out enjoy, eating. I'm talking about Liz, the tech worker I met years ago who dreamed of powering her pale, sickly-looking body with a pill taken just once a day. Even more disturbing? The day I learned she was on a diet that consisted only of Clif bars. R…

Oh yeah, it's Friday baybay. But does that really matter? The older I get, the less excitement Friday brings. Sure, I can go out and party until 4am without much consequence (like, I won't get fired), but I will also almost certainly feel like utter shit and accomplish none of my personal responsibilities. Moaning and groaning my way through Saturday, and then doing it again as some sort of sick hair of the dog, just sounds…terrible. This means the weekend is just relegated to chores and chill…

Time is weird. Five minutes doesn't sound, outwardly, like a lot of time. But it can pass in wildly different ways. Five minutes at the DMV, or waiting for 5 o'clock to roll around, can feel like an eternity. The same goes for waiting in line for a drink at a crowded bar. But five minutes doing something more enjoyable can pass a lot more quickly. A five-minute turn on some sort of amusement ride (they're usually a lot shorter) can feel like five seconds for people who enjoy them, and five year…