Based on experience

That's taking the high road

When you're a kid almost everything feels like it's the end of the world. When I was 4 I became absolutely convinced that the “cool” way to eat pizza was upside down. Cheese facing plate. Ridiculous. The first time my mom took me for pizza after this idea got into my head, I attempted this method between sips of Hawaiian Punch. Once she noticed what was happening she freaked out, grabbed the slice, and tried to get me to eat it the right way. I had a meltdown so explosive that she refused to se…

They're certainly imaginative

Parenting is a lot of things, but it isn't glamorous. One minute you're a freedom-enjoying adult, the next you've popped out some kind of hellion and your life has changed forever. While some of those changes are good, there are others that are a bit of a bummer in retrospect. Being able to use the bathroom alone becomes a rare and relished occurrence. Frequent diaper changing makes existence more poopy than you could ever imagine, and somehow it feels like you're constantly cleaning up messes.…

He's just like Calvin with the Crisco

Puriteens are at it again

Someone's gotta help them reincarnate

"So mean and hateful"...she's two

It's normal not to feel the same emotions as your partner while reacting to the same situation. Being in a relationship doesn't automatically make you the same person. However, it's important to recognize and notice when something is important to your partner and react appropriately. If your wife says Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is her favorite movie, it's probably best not to call her an uncultured fool for even considering that trash to be one of the best movies of all time. If your…

Not the best parenting strategy

Intending not to have kids has become much more socially acceptable for millennials . It used to be that if you were a person who didn't have kids, you were an old spinster, a nun, or a deeply ashamed closeted person. These days, a much larger chunk of young people are vehemently against bringing another life into this world. This can be for various reasons, from not wanting to financially support another human being to not wanting to push another person through their body. While these reasons…

He doesn't deserve this

Can she not take the bus?

Sorry not sorry, still love you thooooo

Mommy Facebook Groups are by no means a new phenomenon. I have been making fun of them since I was a teenager, which didn't go unnoticed by my suburban community. Long story short, I was a member of my high school's sketch comedy team. I know, extremely cool, very popular, and totally not lame of me. We had to perform sketches at loud and rowdy pep rallies that had something to do with school spirit. My best friend/comedy writing partner/high school sweetheart (we had an incredibly multifaceted…