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kids say the darndest things

Funny story written by a seven-year-old about her pet crabs

Seven-Year-Old's Story About Crabs Is Utter Genius

This is better than Shakespeare.
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Not Dumb, Just...Creative?

Caption that reads, "Bro I had to be the dumbest preschooler out there" above a pic of a piece of paper with a bunch of misspelled shapes on it
Via Coolburritoboi
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Has A Nice Ring To It

Text that reads, "35 years ago in elementary school, one of my friends called a 'sloppy Joe' an 'untidy Joseph.' I haven't been able to call it anything else since then. Now you'll call it that too"
Via Orikson
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Clever Kid

Caption that reads, "If I was a teacher, I'd give this kid an A" above a pic of an elementary school exam where the teacher asks students to defend their answers; kid responds by drawing a military guy 'defending' the word 'Answer'
Via Baldeagle33
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Sometimes It's The Kids Who Are The Most Wise

Sign that asks kids random questions about marriage and relationships
Via eldieron24
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That's A Serious Offense

Tweet that reads, "Y'all pray for my son, nothing wrong with him but I ate his Pop Tart before his class picture and he said he never smiling again" above school photos of a small child looking angry
Via red1300
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Thanksgiving's Just Around The Corner

Tweet that reads, "My five-year-old son just asked, 'What if we put a slice of turkey in the DVD player and it played a movie about the turkey's whole life?' and none of the parenting books I've read have prepared me for this question"
Via Jpa1137
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Sick Burn Bro

Tumblr post that reads, "Today my little brother (he's six) put a seashell to his ear and told me the ocean said I'm a nerd"
Via WickedPhallus
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Beautiful

Poem about a tiger written by a six-year-old that actually turned out pretty good
Via NotDan1138
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Good God

Tweet that reads, "My daughter just ruined Toy Story forever. She said if one of the toys died Andy wouldn't know and he'd carry on playing with its corpse"
Via AnUpvoteForYourDog
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Saaaad

Caption that reads, "When you ask a first-grade class to write letters to people in a nursing home" above a hand-written letter that has a picture of an hourglass with the text, "Time's almost up"
Via BasicPotatoes
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People Reveal The Hilarious Ways They Broke The Rules As Kids

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A Credible Threat Has Been Made

A note that reads, "Mom Charlie poot my Barbie in his but hole and got poop in her hair if he dose not get in truble I will poop on his hamster"
Via Punless
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It's Kinda Sweet

Tweet that reads, "My friend Luke didn't realize until he was an adult that lukewarm was a real temperature, he thought it was just a term his mum used to describe his bathwater"
Via anlyin
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Twitter's #LetAChildExplain Proves That Sometimes Kids Just Say It Best

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Awkward...

Photo of Chris Pratt's son dressed as Captain America for Halloween
Via Me.me
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