I didn't want to come

Imma head out

I'm practicing my 1000 yard gaze for when I get trapped in unwanted conversation with an extrovert

Chitchat makes me wilt

This is the 33rd weekend in a row that you've told your friends that you're "sick"

I have my therapist on speed dial, a roll of cookie dough in the fridge, and a lifetime of memories to cringe about

Gettin' real tired of running with the pack

Prime.

My comebacks are just so much better after I've collected my thoughts for 2-5 business days

Why can I quote every movie I've ever seen, but I forget someone's name the second they tell me?

And for my next trick, I'll be breaking my own heart by exaggerating my place in other people's lives

Not me spending 2 months recharging my social battery after one Friday night out...

I have plans with my couch, a loaf of garlic bread, and Wednesday Addams on Netflix

'I'll let you know' means I'm not coming

Thanks in advance for keeping a hefty distance

There's a long history of pitting introverts against extroverts, and a long history of stereotypes about the two. Introverts are supposed to be shy, boring, and antisocial, while extroverts are obnoxiously the opposite: loud, attention-seeking and annoying socialites. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the actual definition of introvert is as follows: “introvert: a person whose personality is characterized by introversion : a typically reserved or quiet person who tends to be introspe…