"Try asking me for a wet fart"

Decades ago, the more optimistic futurists probably thought that we'd eventually be living on space settlements in a scarcity-free utopia where robots do all the work for us and no one wants for anything. Few predicted that the future would look more like accepting “terms and conditions” before ordering a cheeseburger at the drive-thru, or internet-connected “ smart ” license plates that require a paid subscription in order to function properly. Yup, the future is now, and it's dumber than ever…

Connecting objects to the internet just leads to boring dystopia

They say capitalism breeds innovation, but the need to spend extra time answering your smart dishwasher's product survey in order for the thing to function hardly feels "innovative." They say artificial intelligence is going to replace humans, but a pathetic little robot that needs a human to help it out of the snow doesn't seem very intimidating. And don't get me started on subscription-based features. Other than blatantly holding your car hostage, what's the point of a bluetooth-enabled key f…

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